HYPOCRISY AT WORK… Here’s a little history lesson, courtesy of Squid. The CITY OF SEASIDE incorporated in 1899. MARINA was incorporated in 1975. Neither was required to do a full Environmental Impact Report. Nor did the county’s LOCAL AGENCY FORMATION COMMISSION (LAFCO) require an EIR when the two cities annexed all the former Fort Ord land to build expensive housing developments like SEASIDE HIGHLANDS or big-box stores like BEST BUY that don’t pay construction workers a fair wage.

But then, along comes CARMEL VALLEY.

Last December, LAFCO unanimously determined that incorporating Carmel Valley would have no negative environmental impact. “We are talking about a paper transaction that is completed in about one second,” explains MAX CHAPLIN, president of the CARMEL VALLEY FORUM. “There could be no possible environmental impact.”

But a year later the commission changed its mind and decided that yes, incorporation does require an EIR, along with a bunch of other new studies to the tune of $365,000. Hmmm.

And speaking of double standards, how about Supervisor JERRY SMITH telling the >>HERALD that when it comes to approving a GENERAL PLAN, the Board must ignore the threat of a lawsuit from slow-growthers. Weeks earlier, Supervisor LOU CALCAGNO, who sits on the LAFCO board, said that the threat of a lawsuit from anti-incorporation folk was a good reason to stall the process and require an EIR. Again, all Squid can say is, “Hmmm.”

SAD AND SILLY… Apparently Salinas Valley farm heir CHRIS BUNN has solved the mystery behind the death of Supervisor LOU CALCAGNO’s bull. And in the timeless tradition of folk songs about heinous crimes, he has written a ditty about it.

Calcagno’s bull was shot last November, one day after the Board of Supervisors approved a scaled-down version of Rancho San Juan—and hijacked a countywide vote on the huge development.

On his Web site this week, Bunn posted a somber folk song entitled “Poor Louie’s Bull.” In a press release announcing its release, he lays blame for the crime at the feet of environmentalists.

“I’m not saying there’s a connection,” he writes, “but local politics these days is pretty nasty with all the environmentalists running amuck, the greedy land conservancies, and the rich, aging and retired population with too much time on their hands.”

The song itself suggests danger for the pets of supervisors JERRY SMITH and BUTCH LINDLEY: “I wonder where the gun’s sights now are set/ Are they going to murder someone else’s other pet?/ Does Jerry have a dog?/ Does Butch keep hogs?”

Sure, the guy’s a crank. But this is good stuff.