There it was, lurking in the background of a self-portrait snapped by a social-networking girl in a bathroom where someone forgot to flush. It was gross, but hard not to look at, in a train-wreck kinda way. Who knows how long she wondered why she was suddenly getting so many hits.

There are other glorious stories of MySpace and Facebook mismanagement out there. A college junior was charged in a drunk driving accident after posting a photo of his hammered self on Facebook dressed, ironically enough, in a “jailbird” costume at a Halloween party. Two LSU swimmers were kicked off the team after scorning their coach on Facebook. Two Syracuse students were expelled from class after creating a Facebook group that poked fun at a teacher’s assistant.

This is what not to do. To help local students avoid these seemingly obvious pitfalls– and, more importantly, some more subtle and therefore more dangerous missteps– the Weekly intern team compiled a catalog of key tips.

Weekly interns Kelley Calvert, Eden Draper, Qres Ephraim, Emily Kellogg and Jill Kimball provided much of the copy for the annual student guide. Staffers Kera Abraham, Jessica Lyons, Zachary Stahl, Stuart Thornton and Walter Ryce also contributed. Edited by Mark C. Anderson.

1. Do use the spaces that don’t force you to select from a drop-down list. Unfortunately, when you select your sex, you cannot type in “Please.” Only two options appear for this old standard. Yet, for political and religious views, a little more leeway is given. Use it. Some good ones out there: Religious Views: “Face it– we’re related to monkeys”; Status Report: “John Doe is on pause”; Political Views: “Head in sand, thank you.”

2. Don’t f*ck over your friends by inviting them to the “Puff puff pass” group– they might just mindlessly accept it on good faith, have the pot leaf pop up on their profile and… lose their job. The program Spamless Applications Directory has it wired (“Tired of those apps that force you to invite your friends? Tired of spammy quiz apps? This directory is for you!”).

3. Don’t become friends with a bunch of would-be models (or strippers) you don’t know, and then display them as your top friends. Not fooling anyone with this trick.

4. Do choose your quizzes wisely. Which Sex and the City character are you?; Which Disney Princess are you?; Which singer are you?; Which Friends character are you?; What kind of shoe are you?; Which 1950’s pin-up girl are you?; and What is your future life? is about six too many.

5. Don’t forget it’s OK to send someone a personal message– especially if you want to detail a drunken hookup, or where you puked after how many tequila shots– instead of posting on a wall or a comment board that everyone can see.

6. Don’t flaunt your new relationship. Don’t make things “Facebook official”– remember, everyone gets that update– unless you’re willing to accept the consequences. You don’t want to find out that Jimmy has another girlfriend after you post ~JiMMy and JaNE LYke<3 4-eva~ on your MySpace.

7. Do join groups based on your interests. If you’re a writer, join a writing group and get updates on what’s going on in your field of interest. If you’re into politics, get updated on the campaign. The age of information is supposed to make us smarter, remember?

8. Don’t make a group called PABLO IS LYKE SUCH A TOOL after you find out he has another girlfriend, as one local high school student did (his name wasn’t Pablo). That Photoshopped picture of Pablo in compromising positions won’t be too much of a man magnet– it’s the cyber equivalent of the crazy psycho-ex-girlfriend slashing his tires. Not cool.

9. Don’t say you’re “tired” or “exhausted” or “sick with a cold” on your Facebook status update. Because really, even the five friends you do keep in touch with on a daily or at least weekly basis don’t care.

10. Do share what you like with the cool tools offered– Facebook’s iLike (from your profile, click on “Applications” in the menu bar and scroll down) lets you add music to your profile, find your favorite concerts when they are in town and see who else is going). Bonus: Use it to get free mp3s.

11. Do shamelessly promote your band, or acting troupe, or fledgling company.

12. Don’t accept friend requests from self-promoting tramps and morons. They will bomb your page with more spam than a World War II housewife.

13. Do keep in touch with friends who are studying abroad. It’s way cheaper than a phone bill.

14. Don’t post low-resolution pics. If your photos don’t fill up the screen, how will people know how hot you are?

15. Do use your profile to pimp your musical skills. Keep your music page utterly professional, and switch up your sample songs to keep surfers coming back. Include tour dates, contact information and fresh, publication-quality photos. Make a separate profile for the personal stuff.

16. Don’t make a MySpace for your dead baby. It’s just creepy. For that matter, don’t make babies until you graduate (grad students, go for it).

17. Do highlight your international eco-humanitarian missions. Of course, first you have to go on international eco-humanitarian missions.

18. Don’t use the pouty overhead shot with heavy cleavage and emo raccoon makeup. Way too cliché.

19. Do be picky when it comes to choosing your friends. Just because you have 2,000 friends online doesn’t mean anyone likes you more in real life.

20. Don’t let your jokester friends have access to your account password unless you want your profile to say you have the body type of a sumo wrestler and have a fetish for women with facial hair.

21. Don’t have two music players going at once on your page. Your eclectic tastes for Fela Kuti and The Smiths don’t sound good simultaneously.

22. Don’t post pictures of your outfit to your page every morning. To people you’re hoping to attract, it looks desperate and screams high-maintenance.

23. Do provide a link to your résumé on your Facebook profile. When prying eyes come snooping, they’ll be impressed.

24. Don’t leave any drug references lying around web pages the public can see. Sure, your friends might think it’s really cool that you smoked five blunts and did 14 shots last night and still survived, but your Google-savvy grandmother might not be so impressed.

25. Don’t update your mood emoticon half a dozen times a day.

26. Do keep your profile private– for those living underground, profiles are automatically public unless you change that– unless you want every wack job on the Internet spying your “Down and Dirty in the Dorm Room” photo album. Better yet: use an alias, and accept friend requests only from people you know. Even then, design your page with the understanding that it could come back to bite you.

27. Don’t have your list of hobbies simply read “Checking your Myspace or Facebook account.”

28. Don’t post pictures of the underage tail you got last night– the “sex offender” label lasts forever.

29. Don’t post pictures of yourself working out. One Monterey Bay native’s profile picture on Facebook featured himself face-up on a bench wielding enormous weights in each hand. Silly boy! If you go to the gym every day, we’ll all see the results.

30. Do write vague, self-pitying statements in your diary, not in your profile. If your status says you’re “so sad about what happened yesterday,” or that you “want to die,” your friends won’t feel much compassion if they don’t know what went down.

31. Don’t pull a Hannah Montana and naively post pictures of yourself in your underwear. Remember: You could be famous one day, and not all of your “friends” will remain loyal when confronted by a tabloid reporter.

32. Don’t send drunken, late-night messages to your co-workers and business contacts praising how good they looked in their bathing suits on the vacation pictures they posted on their site.

33. Do put your fav actor or musician in your Top 8 if you reach a tricky place trying to rank your friends.

34. Don’t forget about your real-world friends.

35. Don’t list your status as “proud parent” if your only baby is your three-foot lime-green bong. And no… we don’t wanna see the pictures.

36. Do be yourself (in most cases)– if you have issues with your mother that you need to resolve, “About Me” is not the place for it.

37. Don’t inflate the facts… too much. The line between selling yourself and outright lying is a thin one. Honesty is the best policy for social networking sites. OK: An added inch in height. Not OK: Saying you’re an environmental engineer when you pick up trash at Great America.

38. Don’t engage in online cheating– emotional or otherwise. If you are cheating, networking sites are a great place to get caught. Being honest is paramount, but being discreet is humane.

39. Don’t overload your page with Graphics and Music. How many times have you closed a MySpace page because it was taking an hour to load? Make good choices and go with them. Minimalist approach can work wonders.

40. Don’t leave love notes on your partner’s “Wall” or “Comment” section. Do that in person– on the fridge, on the pillow. Nothing says “insecurity” like an endless list of comments oodling, “I love that mole on your chin. Gush.”

41. Don’t post self-incriminating photographs, you dumbass.