Looking forward to a local beauty school’s next evolutionary step.

The last time I went to the Monterey Bay Beauty College was out of sheer desperation. It was two years ago, and my naturally kinky tresses were in disarray and my roots desperately needed a relaxer. For those without experience with fiercely curly hair, a relaxer is a dangerous thing: a thick goop made of alkaline chemicals that breaks down the cuticle of the hair, permanently straightening the shaft. The slightest mistake can cause never-to-be-repaired strands, hair loss and possibly the complete and utter fried annihilation of the hair follicle.

A horrific previous experience with an unlicensed “beautician” made me extremely hesitant to hand my hair over to a complete stranger at the MBBC, but for all of my worrying, I emerged pleasantly surprised: Not only did my locks stay attached to my head, but the treated portions were soft, silky and straight, all for a bargain price.

So when the opportunity came to anonymously evaluate their current services and students on behalf of Weekly readers, I jumped at the chance.

I later found that the class of ’08 was a little more efficient. More immediately, I discovered that things seemed a bit dingier. The bathroom floor was in need of some elbow grease and the ceiling panels wore circular rings.

I approached the receptionist for an appointment. My beauty treatment of choice? A facial– nothing ruins an outfit like a honker on your chin. But alas, clear skin would have to be postponed: I was told the facialist would be out until further notice and I should call back “a bit later.”

Disappointed but undaunted, I called two weeks later to set up an appointment for the works: Facial, manicure and pedicure. But again I was denied on the facial– I learned the college had been bought by Marinello Schools of Beauty, an ever-expanding beauty-instruction facility based in the Southwest. The receptionist told me that the change would include the renovation of the entire premises, including the facial room, which was currently unsuitable for use. I settled for a mani-pedi.

When I arrived, I met a small buzz of activity. Several elderly women prattled on with the receptionist about the hair treatments they wanted, and the school’s great prices. The receptionist smiled and laughed along with the women. She finally asked one of the ladies if she had called for a 1:30 mani-pedi appointment.

“That’s me!” I interrupted loudly. The receptionistquickly shooed the ladies aside and I signed my charge slip, totaling $23.

My manicurist, who we’ll call Jenny, was nothing if not sweet. A short-haired brunette dressed in a classic white button-up shirt, light-blue jeans and ethnic-looking necklaces,Jenny escorted me over to her workstation, a pink rolling desk that looked like it dated back to 1980s, and seated me in an old but comfy (albeit non-massage) rolling chair. My feet were nestled into a blue plastic container filled with hot, soapy water used to soften the calluses that my favorite heels had given to me. Jenny left me to soak.

The rest of the appointment proceeded according to protocol: remove remaining polish, scrub away calluses, clip cuticles and polish till shiny. However, the amount of time it took– including an extended drying phase that, because of the thick layers of polish, couldn’t prevent the paint from smearing later– got my pantiesin a twist. I first sat in the swivel chair at 1:45pm; the job wasn’t done until 3:50pm. In that time, I could have seen Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona and had a nice sushi lunch.

For the lovely ladies with AARP memberships and time to kill after watching Oprah, two-hour mani-pedis are fine. But for the segment of the population with jobs and/or school and/or children, paying the extra five bucks for quicker service is well worth the cost.

During the pleasant-if-lengthy beauty ritual, Jenny did tell me excitedly about the implications of the beauty school takeover.

“Not only is the facility going to be completely gutted and renovated,” she said, “but we’re getting state-of-the-art equipment.”

With a new look and better gear, products and instruction in efficiency, Marinello’s Beauty School will attract more students and clients– and could become the low-price salon to frequent. Until then, Happy Nails will do just fine.

Marinello Beauty School, located at 1760 Fremont Blvd. #D-1 in Seaside, is open 9:30-3pm Monday-Friday. 394-7335,http://www.marinello.com