I''ve got a personal request for incoming Sheriff Gordon Sonne: Put a leash on the department''s pot police, because these guys are out of control, and way out of step with the California masses they''re supposed to be protecting and serving.

A good start would be renaming the department''s Marijuana Eradication Unit, given the fact that state law has changed, and mindless eradication of marijuana isn''t always what our cops should be doing.

Some people are now legally allowed to grow and use marijuana for medical reasons under state law, people like Sam Perryman, who was profiled in these pages last week.

Nonetheless, department drug cops seized his pot plants and ignored his doctor''s recommendation, and leaving the plants to die without sun or water, while harassing his doctor for two weeks. That injustice has even been compounded since last week.

Even though the district attorney''s office has correctly decided not to charge Perryman with any crime, the sheriff''s department is still refusing to return his beleaguered plants. Why? Who knows. They haven''t offered a good reason to Perryman, or returned Coast Weekly phone calls to explain themselves.

Who knows, maybe Bob Empasis and the other MEU drug warriors over there aren''t really waging a moralistic holy war against marijuana. Perhaps they just don''t read the papers much. Maybe they simply aren''t aware the rules have changed. So, Gordon, perhaps you could update them. Thanks.

I Feel Like Chicken Tonight...

Pity the poor Squid, forced to peck at the keyboard for hours as a means of gleaning the morsels needed to keep Squid''s cephalapodic self afloat...My fate apparently isn''t much worse that of the "tic-tac-toe" chicken--the object of yet another animal rights protest, this one Sunday from 11am-3pm at the Edgewater Packing Company on Cannery Row.

Unlike this chicken''s brethren, crammed into crates and hauled off like so many drumsticks, this bird gets to live (somewhat of) a life as a tourist attraction. Granted, he''s forced to operate an electronic game for tourists that''s triggered by the bird pecking for grain. But who among us doesn''t have to work to eat?

Is the chicken being tortured? Well, not really, says In Defense of Animals, which is staging the protest. Still, they say the bird is "deafened" by the nearby carousel, is feather-less around the neck, and is "isolated and very lonely." Wanna help? Stop by Sunday. You, too, can be a friend to a lonely chick...er...chicken. And don''t forget to visit the Colonel on your way.

--Squid

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