"Bob."

"Yes, Yoko."

"Honey, are you still planning to weed the backyard? Some of those really bushy, fragrant weeds are a few feet high now."

"Sure, dear, whatever you say. I''ve just been really busy, but I''ll try to get to it sometime in the next few weeks."

"Thanks, Bob. You know, I see you out there picking leaves off them sometimes, almost like you''re tending a garden. Why don''t you just pull them up instead of playing with them?"

"I don''t know what you''re talking about, Yoko. I said I would get to the weeding, and I will. Here, have a brownie, you''ll feel better."

Yeah, I''m pretty sure that''s how a typical conversation went between surf shop owner Robert Kreyenhagen and live-in girlfriend Yoko Whitaker, the chairwoman of the Carmel Planning Commission. Their home got raided July 8 by drug war troops, acting on a citizen''s tip, who found 45 marijuana plants growing in the backyard.

Yet two weeks later, we''re still waiting for charges to be filed by Deputy District Attorney Bob Hatton. The delay is due to Kreyenhagen''s claim that the pot was his, and Whitaker had nothing to do with it. Whitaker this week asked for a leave of absence from her post.

Apparently, simply having landscaping inspired by Cheech and Chong isn''t enough, so Hatton has asked the MoCo Sheriff''s Department to continue its investigation, and come up with evidence that Whitaker was involved with the growing operation.

So while the cops are dusting the bong and gardening tools for fingerprints, Carmel city officials are waiting to use the verdict to decide whether to boot Whitaker off the commission. After all, we can''t have pot smokers making important decisions like whether to regulate the use of the word "antique," which was what the commission was debating while the raiders were tearing up Kreyenhagen''s garden.

Bullish Barrister

Speaking of positions of authority, Salinas'' Deputy City Attorney Trisha Aljoe is wielding hers like a Christian during the Crusades, and leaving us to pay for her approach.

In addition to regularly running afoul of Judge Richard Silver with her bullish, unbending advocacy of the Salinas gang injunctions, Aljoe single-handedly sabotaged last week''s settlement conference, the last best chance to avoid a costly court battle paid for by taxpayers.

After watching her in action, I was not at all surprised to find out she was a prison correctional officer before turning to the law. Beware when the cops start making the laws, at least that''s what my great-grandaddy the hemp farmer always said.

--Squid

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