I wouldn''t personally pay to see public officials making fools of themselves. They seem to do enough of that for free (or in the case of county supervisors, they do it periodically for about $65,000 a year). But those of you who are suckers for punishment might want to catch the song-and-dance routine winding its way through the charity circuit, starring (depending on the evening) PG Mayor Sandy Koffman, Monterey Mayor Dan Albert, Carmel Mayor Ken White, Seaside Mayor Don Jordan, Salinas Mayor (and Assemblymembah contendah) Alan Styles, and Dave Potter, the county supervisor from District 5. The routine apparently involves rap, plus a re-written version of "My Kind of Town" extolling the virtues of all the representative cities and the county. Whoever wrote these lyrics definitely shouldn''t give up their day job. Sample: My kind of town is Pacific Grove/Bikers and hikers come in droves./ Big, tall pines to the edge of the bay./Where butterflies have the right of way. No? How about...Lettuce and wineries, that''s Salinas./ Shopping and dineries, that''s Salinas? If you like this act, you can catch it this Sunday at the Monterey Opera Association benefit or on June 20 at a fund-raiser for Alan Styles. As for me, I''ll continue to get my laughs at public meetings.

No Wonder The Problem Isn''t Solved

Take a walk with me back in time to last week, where local reporters are carefully grilling candidates running for a seat in Supervisorial District 3. What, asks one scribe, should the county do to help ease the burden of welfare moms about to be kicked off the dole who haven''t acquired adequate job skills or child care options? To the rescue comes candidate Donald Dunsford, who proposes a committee of "five competent men" to tackle the problem. Dunsford also had to ask for another question to be repeated, confessing to the audience that he was thinking about his business, rather than the forum at hand. Squid predicts Dunsford will have plenty of time to attend to that business in the weeks following the election.

Bite Me

Lastly, if you''ve had a hankering to dish Squid, check out the 15th Annual Great Monterey Squid Festival at the Monterey Fairgrounds this weekend. Yeah, I know I''m a bit chewy at times, so here''s your chance to bite back. As CW''s own cooking columnist Catherine Coburn points out, the "viscera may all be removed in one clean sweep."

--Squid

Hook Squid: squid@coastweekly.com

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