After exhaustive examination of the area''s expansive field of political contenders, it occurs to Squid that some of the many qualified and capable candidates may belong...somewhere other than the post they''re trying to attain. For example...

Felix Bachofner should run for Pacific Grove City Council, where his polished, squeaky clean image and shiny smile would nicely complement Mayor Sandy Koffman.

Ila McCutcheon should consider running for Seaside Mayor. Army colonels know how to knock heads together, which is exactly what the city needs.

James "Green Bud" Ogle should run for Parliament. In Jamaica.

Peter Frusetta should consider the city council in Laramie, Wyoming, where voters would understand his comparison of "an unnatural heifer" to homosexuality.

Phil Chavez should run for Monterey County Board of Supervisors, where his get-tough-on-everything attitude could be better put to use locally. Leave Sacramento to the granola-crunching, tree-hugging liberals.

Dan Albert, everybody''s favorite grandpa, would make a wonderful godfather to activist Morgan Christopher''s tot.

Bill McCampbell should get out of politics altogether and devote his time and energy to heading up a private nonprofit, where he could put his ideas on child care to work.

The Right Man for the Right Job?

You saw The Herald''s Oct. 21 endorsement of Seaside Major Don Jordan? It began "Seaside needs a mayor with uncommon drive who can be counted up to seize opportunities to strengthen the local economy..." Opportunities like the monthly Seaside tabloid that The Herald has agreed to publish in conjunction with the city? A Sept. 29 letter to Seaside business owners from Seaside City Manager Tim Brown heralds news of this joint venture as an "exciting project which should benefit us all." Was the Herald''s endorsement of Jordan''s administration >[s]quid pro quo? You decide.

Missing Peter

Where, oh where is Assemblymember Peter Frusetta? In recent weeks, the incumbent Republican Assemblymember has turned up missing for a forum scheduled at The Californian, declined to schedule an interview or return questions posed by CW and was unwilling or unable to make himself available for a taped interview at public radio station KUSP 88.9FM (causing "Talk of the Bay" host Rachel Goodman to spend 15 minutes interviewing Frusetta''s Sacramento chief of staff). Odd behavior, says Squid, for a two-term assemblymember seeking re-election.

Got a bite for Squid? Email squid@coastweekly.com.

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