Actually, I Think It Kinda Looks Like Elvis

The year in Pacific Grove started with savage gangs of raccoons pooping in every available sand box. And Squid thought it would end with gallons of sewage being pumped on defenseless surfers at Lovers Point. But noooooo...

Another scandal has rocked Butterfly Town in the waning days of the 20th century. At least this one's not scatological.

Next time you're pulled over by one of P.G.'s finest (for, say, doing 26 in a 25 mph zone), look closely at the copper's shoulder patch. If you don't want to see P.G. on the receiving end of a lawsuit, don't tell the Pebble Beach Company that it resembles the Lone Cypress.

That's right, the tree emblazoned on P.G. police patches look suspiciously like Pebble Beach's copyrighted symbol of wealth and arrogance. One concerned citizen, outraged at P.G.'s apparent disregard for the company, contacted city officials. Another posted a message on the Weekly's online message board. Trouble was brewing.

City Manager Mike Huse asked police Captain Carl Miller to explain. In response, Miller wrote:

"The belief that our patch is of the Lone Cypress is not new. The origins of our current police patch are not very clear. By looking at old police photographs it appears that the patch was not issued until the mid-1950s...

"The best guess is that the patch depicts a tree at Lovers Point, since the coastline can be seen in the background. The Lone Cypress has a different background and shape. Also, the Lone Cypress is called so because it sits by itself on a rock, and not because it is the only Cypress Tree in existence.

"In 1991 we redesigned the patch to return to its origins, changed the colors and improved the cracks in the rocks which were being mistaken by some for a religious cross...

"We are currently contemplating a new patch to depict our Lighthouse and thus end this debate once and for all."

All Squid can say is "Hallelujah!" Now Pagrovians can sleep easier knowing their city is free from possible copyright violations and the police can go back to arresting raccoons for their felonious assaults with deadly doo-doo. (And perhaps the folks at City Hall can consider maybe thinking about pondering the possibility for some sort of solution, someday, to the city's sewage problems.)

Strike the Word "Development" and Make It "Space Management" or I'll Sue!

Commercial property owners have predicted doom and gloom if Monterey voters are so foolish as to pass the Coastal Initiative, which would restrict commercial development on Monterey's coast. Should the initiative pass, lawsuits from would-be developers, say opponents, will roll in like sardines to a cannery.

But opposition frontman Rick Heuer isn't waiting around to see what voters do. He forged right ahead with a lawsuit last week, months before the thing appears on the ballot. And the outcome of his legal tirade? In the ballot language, the word "commercial" was stricken, "act" was changed to "initiative," and the words "in open spaces" were added to "limits beach front parking lots."

Not to be outdone, initiative proponent Barbara Bass Evans sicked her lawyer on backers of the official ballot argument opposing the initiative, including Monterey City Councilmembers Clyde Roberson, Don Edgren, and Theresa Canepa. Evans objected to their use of the word "bankruptcy," and to the assertion that the initiative would affect residential as well as commercial development.

Ostensibly, all this lawsuit nonsense is intended to clarify things for the voters. I don't know about you, but this little sea creature is more confused than ever.

Make it all come clear for Squid: squid@coastweekly.com

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