At last. America West, which started regular daily jet service between Monterey and Phoenix as of Feb. 1, has lifted Monterey Airport out of its stunning provincialism and connected us to someplace other than San Fran and La-La Land.

The glory of AW''s inaugural flight was dashed, however, when 20 of the 50 passengers arrived sans baggage. And not just any baggage--their golf clubs, for chrissake. Seems they got, er, lost or something on the 90-minute non-stop flight. But not to worry--the bereft visitors were taken on a free trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium as consolation. Sounds fishy.

That Marine is Pretty Cute, But Would He Make Good Bait?

In all the hub-bub surrounding the U. S. Marine''s proposed Urban Warfare operation to infiltrate Monterey on March 13, someone forgot to tell the boys in blue that they''re planning to charge into Monterey Bay on opening day of salmon season.

A couple of irate fishermen and dive boat operators showed up at last Friday''s National Marine Bay Sanctuary advisory council meeting in Moss Landing to tell ''em so. Assured by the mucky-mucks that any reputable fisherman would be well out to sea by the time the Marines begin churning up the waters, one fisherman pointed out that families, sport fishermen and dive boats tend to wait ''til the sun''s up before venturing forth.

Oh, yeah, and those migrating whales are also passing through the bay right now. The few, the proud, the chum?

Pass the Salt and the Light, Please

Apparently, presidential impeachment is good enough for the Republicans in Washington, but less than satisfactory for the American Religious Right. At least that''s the message coming from Coral Ridge Ministries in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. which will hold its sixth annual "Reclaiming America for Christ" conference later this month.

"The crisis in Washington, the national shrug at a gross moral transgression on the part of our highest elected leader...are troubling indicators of our nation''s moral decline," states Dr. James Kennedy, president of the CRM, in a recent press release. "The need for Christians to bring the salt and the light of the Gospel in word and deed has never been greater."

Never been greater? In a nation that once sanctioned slavery, the Vietnam "conflict" and Nicaraguan coke dealers? Crusaders, don your swords, your spears, your armor! Rid Washington and the country of adulterous infidels! Whatever.

--Squid

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