Somebody stop him. Local history buff Neal Hotelling is out of tune this time. Hotelling, usually a rational advocate for preserving the precious historical resources of Cannery Row, seems to be taking his cause a wee bit too seriously.

His latest crusade surrounds those colorful Andean musicians who entertain tourists in the Row''s Steinbeck Plaza. The Monterey Planning Department has decided the group needs a city permit. Playing tunes is fine, the city says, but selling things--audio tapes and the like--constitutes a business.

But Hotelling objects to the permit because it would allow the group to play amplified music everyday. Further--and here''s the clincher--he said there''s no historical connection between Peruvian tunes and Cannery Row. Of course not, Neal, but since when does "historical connection" have anything to do with the wares that are hocked along the Row we know today? Do T-shirt shops have a "historical connection?" Or those machines that squish pennies into flat little footballs imprinted with sea otter likenesses?

That barn door was opened long ago, buddy. While Squid applauds your tireless efforts to preserve Cannery Row, loosen up for once and dance to the Andean groove, which adds some excitement and a little bit of exotica to the Row and entices the tourists to stay awhile.

Stop the Presses!

Did the big kahunas over at the Herald send their editorial cojones packing? That''s the buzz around the daily''s newsroom. Seems Herald management put the kibosh on a story about the Pebble Beach Company/ Lone Cypress trademark issue.

The dreamer in me wonders, why did Herald editors not think the Tree trademark story newsworthy? After all, Pebble has sicked its lawyers on local artists and art galleries to prevent them from profiting from the Tree''s image. Who called whom to kill the story? Way to stand up for the little guy, Herald.

Your Tax Dollars Hard at Work

Squid is pleased to inform readers that our very own Congressman Sam Farr will join Bob "Come on Down" Barker July 14 to view a video about elephant abuse in India. As we all know, the congressman from Carmel is a diligent leader in the crusade against elephant abuse at home--it''s a big problem in the 17th District. No, wait a minute, that''s raccoon abuse. Ah, whatever. I bet he''s just trying to schmooze Barker into a spot on "The Price Is Right" anyway. (Bid a dollar, Sam!)

--Squid

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