Bigger Fish to Fry
Thursday, March 25, 1999
In the Footsteps of Greatness?
So Monterey County Supervisor Simon Salinas has thrown his hat in the ring for the 2000 28th state Assembly race in hopes of following term-limits victim Assemblymember Peter "Cowboy in the Capital" Frusetta. In light of Frusetta's previous campaign trail success, Squid offers some advice for the candidate based on Frusetta's well-proven election-time strategies. First of all, create a cartoonish persona for yourself. For instance, Salinas could be the "Sasquatch in Sacramento." That image dovetails with Squid's next bit of advice: stay out of sight. Avoid appearing in person before the media and the public. But, rambling, bizarre missives to the media are fine, particularly ones involving sports celebrities and female deer. If you do speak in public, be sure to use the ever-effective reference to fascist murderers, particularly in front of children. Most importantly, get a pet. A cow, a small rodent, whatever. Appear with it in corny campaign commercials. And, if you can get your opponent to publicly insult your pet, even better. Just another excuse not to debate him/her in public.
Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad
It seems a lawsuit filed by a group of homeowners to block construction of a new golf course in the Del Monte Forest has raised the hackles of those "one world and we're all in it together" folks at the Pebble Beach Co.
The suit, scheduled to be heard in county Superior Court next month, was filed by a group of residents calling themselves the "Association to Protect Equestrian Easements." APEE is challenging PBC's legal right to replace the equestrian center with a new golf course, which, the suit claims, would violate easements that guarantee public access and multiple recreational uses of the land. Squid's sources say that, in an apparent effort to undermine the legal basis for APEE's claims, a PBC attorney notified APEE's attorney that the company intended to revoke the plaintiffs' license granting them access to roads and equestrian trails in the forest.
PBC spokesperson Rich Patterson confirmed the plaintiffs will be receiving such letters, but insists it's nothing more than a "legal strategy" on the part of PBC to defend itself, and that the residents can still use the trails and roads as they have in the past. As Squid sees it, such is life at the Company Forest, where, as Squid's fishing buddy George Orwell was fond of saying, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
--Squid loves to be baited: email@example.com