April's Foolishness
Street Talk By Aaron S.
Thursday, March 30, 2000
It''s usually hard to find people on the street willing to talk to us. So, for our final Street Talk duty, we managed to find some victims who couldn''t run away.
John Steinbeck
Age: 98 Resides: Rec Trail
Occupation: Seagull target
What''s changed since your glory days on Cannery Row? The buildings are taller, the womens is better lookin'', and the seagulls aim.
What do you miss about old Monterey? That place down by Cannery Row, you know what I''m talking about, the Palace Flophouse.
What does a 98-year-old bronzed writer think about? Verdigris.
Captain Beefeater
Age: "Older''n you, laddie!"
Resides: Franklin Street
Occupation: Guard
How''s the queen? She asked me to wait right here until she got back. Now stop touchin'' me hat!
Have you been waiting long? Naw, just about three centuries, not a bad spot. I can see all the cute lassies comin'' outta the pub.
Pub, eh? Any stories to tell? If only me had a sixpence for every time one of them folks came outta there to lean on me. It''s a lovely place to be standing.
The Crabs
Age: One Season
Resides: Fisherman''s Wharf
Occupation: To look tast-ay.
So what''s it like to be a crab? One moment I''m out in the deep blue sea, next thing I know I''ve got straps around my claws and some punk like you is oogle-eyeing me for dinner.
What do you think about? I contemplate my existence as a crab. What it means to the great Hands above.
Have any phobias? Butter, butter, butter.
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