Annoyed By Tabloids
Thursday, September 21, 2000
Gossip rags touting crack-addicted schnauzers, monkeymen from space and prophecies of doom can wreak havoc upon the minds of those who take them as truth. Then again, they can send you rolling with laughter. Some wandering citizens broke out of the supermarket lines to talk about tabloids.
Computer programmer, Monterey
Do you know anyone who buys tabloids on a regular basis? One of my mom''s friends does. She didn''t believe the crap, but she definitely got a kick out of them.
How do they pass themselves off as factual journalism? Well, it''s sold for entertainment purposes only.
If you had a tabloid "scoop" to print, what would it be? How about "Aliens Drink George W. Bush''s Brain, Leaving Him Incapable of Serving in Office?"
Who buys these gossip rags? People that are really bored and unimaginative. >(Points) Like that lady in the Cadillac over there.
Tabloids are pretty popular. How do they do it? Because people love smut, and smut sells.
Do you believe Elvis is alive and well? Yes, because the feds are after him. He lives in my basement.
What''s the most ridiculous thing you''ve seen in a tabloid? Oh, "Monkey Boy Is Born from Two People in Africa," or something like that.
Is Elvis alive? And who buys these things? No, Elvis is dead. Bored supermarket shoppers buy them.
If you had a tabloid cover story, what would it be? I''ve got one: "Monterey Housing Goes Down to $150K Per House!"