Not so long ago, the Weekly reported with glee in these very pages that no less estimable a publication than FamilyFun magazine had weighed in on our community''s worthiness. A survey of FamilyFun''s readers had named the Monterey Bay Aquarium the seventh best vacation destination in the US of A, right up there with Disneyland and SeaWorld. It went to Squid''s head for a while, really, to think of rubbing elbows with Mickey and Shamu, even if only on a list in a magazine with full-page ads for mini-vans and Kool-Aid. Noting that the Aquarium had clawed its way up from the Number 23 spot last year, Squid felt it was a victory to be savored.

In full celebration mode, Squid was on the beach adjusting the bendy-straw on a frosty piña colada when there came another dispatch from the folks at FamilyFun: Monterey had been named the top tourist town in the Pacific region!!

Squid almost plotzed over this news. Did the editors at FF mean we''d annihilated Anaheim, squashed San Francisco, busted down Burbank, stomped Santa Cruz? Had we shamed Seattle and petrified Portland? Had Monterey finally arrived?

Well, no. As it turns out, Monterey beat out three towns Squid has never heard of for the honor of "Top Tourist Town" in the "Pacific" category: Leavenworth, Wash., Port Townsend, Wash. and Sisters, Ore.

You''ve never heard of them, either? Why, how could you have missed Leavenworth "Little Bavaria" Washington, where dirndl-clad locals skip around downtown pretending they''re in the Sound of Music? You mean Port Townsend, Wash. slipped under your Great Destinations radar, with its "Historic Victorian Seaport"? (Sure as Squid squirts ink, that''s code for store clerks in bonnets, competing gingerbread outlets and at least one store specializing in Christmas tree ornaments.) Or the great town of Sisters, Ore.-known far and wide as the "Gateway to the Cascades"?

Thought so. Squid has a message for the editors of FamilyFun: You''ve confused us with the small fry. Someone in two envious states that shall remain unnamed stuffed your ballots. And we don''t boast "year-round T-shirt weather."

DISORDER ON THE COURT…The Pulitzer prizes were doled out this week, and Squid was frankly a little disappointed to discover that the prize for opinion-writing went to some two-legged windbag at the New York Times. Methinks Squid is four times the blowhard of any landlubber.

The sadness was muted though, because no one from any of the other fine print publications in Monterey County came away with a Pulitzer either.

Thus, the battle royale for local media supremacy will have to be settled the old fashioned way-on the basketball court. This Saturday during Pacific Grove''s quaint Good Old Days celebration, a pitched showdown is scheduled on the Stillwell Court in Caledonia Park.

The Fighting Cephalopods representing Monterey County Coast Weekly are feeling kind of smug to be squaring off vs. the likes of Itchy and Scratchy from KMBY and the Media Jackals from the Monterey County Herald.

KION, KAZU, CD-93 and AT&T Media are also scheduled for the Donnybrook. Wagers are being taken by off-shore bookies until tip-off at 10:30 Saturday.

Player-manager Liz Kresky from the home team boasts that the Weekly''s "got a solid team, well-rounded-if you get my drift. Good thing it''s half court." All funnin'' aside, Squid will confess to having been a little moved when the cheer went up in the corporate cafeteria yesterday: "We''ve got spirit, we''ve got class-let''s go out and kick some ass!"

-Score One for Squid: squid@coastweekly.com