ANSEL ANONYMOUS…Squid considers it a moral obligation to skewer the sanctimonious, defend the weak and remind the world of the forgotten. Yes, especially remind the world of the forgotten! The poor forgotten, those who dwell nameless, featureless, birthday gala-less. Those souls like shuttergod and former Carmel resident ANSEL ADAMS, whose 100th birthday is Wed., Feb. 20.

That, of course, is just seven short days before JOHN "EVERYBODY-LOOK-AT-ME-HEY-HEY-PARTY''S-OVER-HERE" STEINBECK''s 100th, which is happening in a blitzkrieg of parties and lectures and giant birthday cards and singing schoolchildren.

TRACEY GLYNN, manager of the Ansel Adams Gallery on Cannery Row, told Squid about the open house she organized at the gallery where people can sip cider and gawk at Adams'' work. Glynn expressed dismay that the folks at HQ in Fresno hadn''t sent out word of the affair, and allowed as how the gallery had been without a manager for quite some time before she got there in December, so probably just nobody was able to plan anything. Glynn helpfully pointed out that the Weston Gallery is having an Adams show right now, too.

It turns out you would have had to go to Chicago to attend a big fancy Steinbeckian party for Adams. The ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO opens the ANSEL ADAMS AT 100 EXHIBITION this Thursday, and at press time was planning a giant free-to-the-public birthday party, with a lecture by the curator and cake for everyone. And Adams never even lived there.

DUELING DEPUTIES…Poor DOUG DAHMEN, president of the Monterey County DEPUTY SHERIFF''S ASSOCIATION. His letter to the sheriff''s association''s membership, printed in a recent DSA newsletter, reads something like a weepy KATHERINE HARRIS speech. "Where has trust, honesty and integrity gone?" he asks repeatedly. Well, Doug, some deputies say you banished all those attributes upon taking office.

Allegations of corruption swirl around the DSA president and vice president JENNIFER JONES, a.k.a. Mrs. Doug Dahmen. Prior to the DSA candidate''s forum, some deputies said Dahmen had been offered a position as chief deputy in exchange for his endorsement for a certain candidate whose last name rhymes with PFIZER.

There''s also the rumor that Dahmen et al. ghosted ballots and solicited votes to approve the deputies'' contract extension, to which Dahmen replies, "Why is it that we can''t seem to conduct a simple meting or the vote of our membership without questioning the honesty and integrity of those involved? …Again, where has the trust, honesty and integrity gone?"

So to eliminate even the appearance of impropriety, Dahmen had all the ballots mailed to his home. His home that he shares with the DSA vice president.

Apparently Squid isn''t the only free thinker to say this smells fishy. In a two-page letter mailed to all the member deputies, jail steward FRED JIMENEZ responds to Dahmen''s where-has-the-trust-gone letter and accuses Dahmen of making one-sided decisions without consulting the rest of the DSA board.

"Give this association back to the members who pay to have a voice in decisions that are made," Jimenez writes. "In my opinion the current leadership of this association has taken us several steps backwards after moving in a positive direction for a couple of years."

When Squid caught up with Jimenez at the jail, he said he''s let the letter speak for itself. Dahmen wouldn''t return phone calls. Which doesn''t earn him any trustworthy points from this cephalopod.

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