thursday 3|14 The Young and the Restless  THE UNINVITED If you haven''t been to Doc''s in Monterey for college night Thursdays, it''s worth the trip. For one thing, drinks are only a dollar, which means a sawbuck ($10) can get you quite a few Red Hooks. Then there''s the music. Tonight, onetime locals The Uninvited return in a hail of catchy guitar riffs and ironic lyrics--the very same stuff that won them a few seconds of fame in the ''90s with their funny stoner''s lament, "Too High for the Supermarket." Now residents of Santa Monica, The Uninvited''s members have grown up since those hazy days, but they''ve held onto their essential formula and brat-in-a-funk edge while upgrading to more thoughtful and, yes, more mature social commentary. Their new CD, Malltopia, eviscerates bland, materialistic SoCal culture (especially in "Suburbia" and "Food Court Rock Star") and even ventures into haunted-human territory ("Sleeping with Sigmund Freud"). Sometimes growing up is a good thing.

10pm. Doc Rickett''s Lab. 180 E. Franklin, Monterey. Call for price. 649-4241.

friday

3|15

Group Think

MIRÓ STRING QUARTET When a world-class string quartet with youth appeal and a commitment to outreach and education comes to town, it''s time to reschedule whatever else is going on and go get some cultcha. For more information on the Miró String Quartet, please see page 28.

8pm. First United Methodist Church, Sunset and 17 Mile Drive, Pacific Grove. $20 general/$15 students. 625-2212.

Rock

Stars

SHUT UP MARIE AND UNDER_SCORE It can''t be easy to distinguish yourself in the LA club scene, but Shut Up Marie is leapfrogging mediocrity and landing itself regular air play on the radio and getting people all excited. As singer Annette (last name: just too weird to spell or pronounce) tells us, all five of the band members are trained jazz musicians, and she herself is opera-schooled and in possession of a three-octave set of pipes that exudes brassiness, anger and tough-chick authenticity. Alanis Morissette wishes she had this girl''s talent, and the rich, spikey, Latin-influenced sound of the band makes rock sound good again. As for the opening act, until you''ve seen under_score perform live, it''s hard to believe that such a sultry, soulful sound can escape the lips of sweet-and-innocent-looking vocalist Nikki Anderson. Her powerful voice and performance behind the mic set the hook, and the band''s strong rhythm section--Matt Brown on drums and Dale Hameister on bass--reel ''em in. This local fivesome''s discovered the perfect recipe for bar-band success.

9pm. Blue Fin Cafe and Billiards, 685 Cannery Row, Monterey. Call for price. 375-7000.

saturday

3|16

Blue-Ribbon Day

METROPOLITAN OPERA BROADCAST Amidst a time of dumbed-down radio playlists, slashed music education budgets and canceled record contracts, the Saturday morning live broadcast of New York''s Metropolitan Opera, still going strong after 60 years, is a rare beacon of quality and pleasure in today''s classical music scene. This week''s offering of three short French works is particularly enticing. Erik Satie''s Parade was a ballet score for Serge Diaghilev''s Ballets Russes. In Les Enfants et les Sortileges, Ravel and his librettist Colette concocted a surrealist schoolroom fantasy. And Les Mamelles de Tiresias, by Francis Poulenc, surely takes the gateau: It recounts the story of a rebellious woman who discards her husband--and her breasts, represented by two large balloons that detach and float offstage. The husband dutifully goes on to give birth to 40,049 children in a single day. Vive la France!

10:30am-1:15pm. KAZU, 90.3 FM.

Black

& White Beauty

EDWARD WESTON PHOTOGRAPHIC EXHIBIT Starting Saturday at the Park Branch of the Harrison Library in Carmel you can glimpse a special collection of Edward Weston''s photography. When Weston lived in Carmel, he paid the bills with commercial and commission work--the art stuff was extra. Over the years, locals have donated portraits and other work by Weston they''ve inherited or acquired, and a collection at the library has amassed. There are about 60 of Weston''s works in this rare and brief show of photos taken around here (in places such as Point Lobos), in Death Valley and in the American South in the ''30s and ''40s.

10am-closing, Sat-Wed. Harrison Memorial Library Park Branch, Mission and 6th Ave., Carmel. Free. 624-4664. Exhibit ends 3/20.

Bladder

Splatter

CELTIC FESTIVAL Some

animal parts should be thrown away--sheep stomach bags, cows'' bladders and lambs'' lungs, for instance. The Scots, however, feel a wee bit differently, and prefer to stuff any of the above with oatmeal and livestock organs and call it a delicacy--haggis. The US government has determined that sheep lungs are unfit for human consumption (note to would-be haggis-hawkers: It''s illegal to import most haggisses into the US), but as far as we can tell, it''s still okay to throw them. Start practicing, because the hottest event at today''s Celtic Festival promises to be the haggis throw. The festival also features arts, crafts and food booths, Irish dancing, a bag piper, a parade of fairies and leprechauns and a Blarney contest, with a trophy for the best story. But do watch out for flying bladders.

Noon to 4pm. Aromas Grange Hall, corner of Rose and Bardue, Aromas. Free. 726-3240.

Re

d, Hot and Blue

RED ARCHIBALD AND THE INTERNATIONALS For years, this SF Bay Area harmonica virtuoso backed blues legends like Memphis Slim and Champion Jack Dupree, as well as folk-rock stars like Taj Mahal and Elvin Bishop. But now Red Archibald is better known for his own stuff. He has a singular take on blues arrangement that welds his harp and his saxophone player''s horn into a tight unit. The result is a unique sound--Archibald''s own version of progressive, West Coast blues. The formula still sounds fresh, even though he''s worked it for 20-plus years, in a variety of bands on two continents (he went to Europe on tour in 1980 and ended up staying for a decade). He''s at once a technical master (by overblowing, he gets chromatic chords out of a diatonic harp) and a showman. This year''s model of the Internationals include solid veterans: Eddie Valentine on guitar, John Dunstan on bass, Steven David on drums and Jim Peterson on tenor & bari saxes.

9pm. Sly McFly''s, 700 Cannery Row, Monterey. Call for price. 649-8050.

sunday

3|17

Kiss Me, I''m Irish

PATRICK IRELAND Just in case his name alone isn''t enough to convince you to spend St. Paddy''s afternoon with Patrick Ireland, we''ll throw in an impressive reference list, too. Ireland, who writes his own music, sings and plays the guitar, has performed with the likes of the Beach Boys, Paul Williams, Jimmy Buffet, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Hot Tuna, Ann Murray and Jim Croce. In honor of St. Patrick''s Day, Ireland will take the audience on a musical tour down Memory Lane along with saxophonist Roger Eddy and a surprise bass player. As with all Magic Circle Center concert parties, complimentary refreshments will be served in the center''s garden setting.

2pm. Magic Circle Center, 8 El Caminito Road, Carmel Valley Village. $16. Call 659-1108 for reservations.