Sure, Squid enjoys a clean, oil-tanker-free Monterey Bay where vertebrates and invertebrates alike enjoy health care and are paid a living wage. And every shrimp and sardine can sleep easy at night, free of fear from biological-weapons-brandishing SCUBA divers, knowing their underwater towns and cities are protected by police officers, swimming the streets.

Squid''s thrilled to read the 17 pieces of legislation authored by Keeley that passed this year. Energy metering is a good thing, as is indoor air quality and inheritance rights for domestic partners. But mandatory restaurant bathrooms are a really big deal.

Keeley''s AB 2219 requires all food establishments to provide customers access to a restroom, according to a Keeley press release.

"The issues important to the people [and cephalopods] of Santa Cruz and Monterey counties were heard in Sacramento-and acted upon," says Keeley via said press release. "I am proud of the legislation we have sent to the governor, and if signed, will increase the quality of the environment and life in our communities on the Central Coast."

And will certainly decrease bladder infections.

A FLOCK OF TROUBLE…Eighty birds in one house. That''s the disturbing situation Squid learned of recently and it''s been keeping Squid from smooth sleeping despite these inky and cool Monterey nights. Just today, one of the our most loyal agents brought in the news that a Patricia Fauth of New Monterey seeks a city permit to keep the 80 pet birds she''s accumulated over the last decade or so.

When our intrepid agent burst in with the dispatch, Squid''s head began to spin. Was it permission for a massive coop to house homing pigeons? Were they pet chickens, left to peck the shag carpet and the tile floors? Was it a Floridian with a lawn of live flamingoes? Buzzards lurking over a backyard of castoff motorcycle parts and empty beer cans? What does it look like?

Apparently it''s sort of one of those better-to-ask-forgiveness-than permission deals, since the woman already has the birds and has had them for quite some time.

A new neighbor has reportedly complained. Since city codes dictate that a citizen may keep a maximum of four pets without a permit, this animal-lover has to convince the city bureaucracy and finagle a permit for her 80 feathered friends, kiss about 70 of them goodbye or move to Prunedale.

According to city code enforcement officer Deborah Wright, the birds are in cages and it appears to be neat. Newspapers cover the appropriate areas, maybe or maybe not the Weekly.

Wright says she has caught a glimpse of the problem. When she went to the home to investigate, she rang the doorbell, setting off a racket of excited birds. The birds of course, are the colorful, talking kind. Cockatoos, cockateels, parakeets and "big parrots." It''s not a bird-hoarding deal. They''re not crawling all over each other, picking on the little ones, eating the dead.

The matter of the pet permit is now before the city planning commission, although the latest news is that Fauth has asked for a month''s delay. Who has the rights? The neighbors who object to the birdtalk or the birdlover who seems to really care for all her creatures, or the creatures who may or may not be overjoyed to live in cages in a house in Monterey? It doesn''t matter now. As Wright told Squid, "Unfortunately, there is a law."

Send Squid a cagekey:squid@coastweekly.com