A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS...Squid was shopping in Carmel the other day (it's so hard to find a cute hoodie that fits Squid's pointy head) when Squid was drawn to the smell of popcorn and the color of money. Or maybe it was the smell of money and the color of popcorn. Regardless, men, women and mollusks can find both at MONTEREY COUNTY BANK's newest branch in downtown Carmel's former Village Theater. CEO CHARLES CHRIETZBERG converted the historic building into a bank, but kept the atmosphere and decided to run movies by local residents DORIS DAY and CLINT EASTWOOD throughout the banking day on a 42-inch flat-screen with a row of real movie seats. Like any good movie theater, the Monterey County Bank branch serves popcorn and candy. According to the witty press-release scribes at ARMANASCO PUBLIC RELATIONS, "At press time, neither Eastwood nor Day had yet to visit the branch, but the increased foot traffic seems to be...err...making Chrietzberg's day."

MURALISTS NEED NOT APPLY...The hits just keep on coming for JOSEPH WERNER and his totem-carving, mural-painting kids. Earlier this month, county officials took his ONE VOICE ARTS AND LEADERSHIP PROGRAM away from him, following a grand jury report that charged his program with keeping hundreds of thousands of federal job training dollars from reaching thousands of local disadvantaged kids. The problem, according to the grand jury, was that Werner directed both the WORKFORCE INVESTMENT BOARD and the OFFICE FOR EMPLOYMENT TRAINING-the agency that distributes federal money to local programs and the agency spending the money. Sure, it smells like a teensy conflict of interest. But Squid has a soft spot for colorful murals and "healing totem poles."

Salinas Mayor ANNA CABALLERO obviously doesn't. "There really is not a lot of demand in the job market for totem-pole-carvers and muralists," she told the Herald. Now Squid knows that Caballero runs PARTNER'S FOR PEACE, which operates similar youth work experience and educational programs. Partners for Peace didn't receive federal funding through the Workforce Investment Board. And Squid's sees Caballero's point. But Squid still finds the mayor's comments a little short-sighted. And even Squid's black, little heart finds the following Herald quote just plain mean. According to CHERYL WARD-KAISER, a member of the Workforce Investment Board: "If I see any more of those murals I'm going to die." Okay, good.

DOWN THE DRAIN...CAL-AM can't get a break. First, the proposed Carmel River Dam died. And now CALIFORNIA PUBLIC UTILITIES COMMISSION Administrative Judge MICHELLE COOKE has ruled that the water company must file more paperwork on the proposed Moss Landing desalination plant. "We are concerned that other agencies with authority over the proposed project may not have been notified of the amended application," Cooke writes. Hmmm. Sounds like the Monterey Peninsula Water Management District, the Moss Landing Harbor District and maybe even the County Board of Supervisors got to Cooke. And, rules the judge, "Cal-Am's request for ratemaking accounts...is vague." Squid would be biting Squid's tongue if Squid had a tongue.