BUT DOES HE GOLF?...So me and Sweet Thing are just back from Paris and I''m not even in the door more than a few minutes when the phone starts ringing with those lonely PGA pros pestering me to play with them in the AT&T. They won''t leave me alone because they know I''ve got all the insider knowledge about where to go for the good food and beverage on the Monterey Peninsula and I''m a monster dining partner. I feel like a piece of meat. I had to just stop answering the phone.

TIPPING MY HAT...Speaking of the AT&T, I got a great scoop (although by now, every tipped employee west of Kansas City has probably heard) about Dan Marino. Seems he came in a couple of weeks ago for an impromptu practice session at one of the Pro-Am venues and proved to be a first class, A-Number-One tipster, as in, let me remember that I''m a Western Pennsylvania dude who could fling it, and I know how wonderful it is to fill up a working man''s palm kinda tipster. Let me tell you now for all you fools who never had to work for tips--there ain''t no such thing as too big a tip. God bless you Danny Boy.

HERE''S A TIP...Don''t believe everything you read. I wrote last week that the great seminar by Marilyn Joyce on eating right and helping yourself be well was last Thursday--well it''s this Thursday, Feb. 6, at 6pm. Call 648-3593 for tickets or just show up at CenterFor, 187 El Dorado (off Munras) in Monterey. It begins at 7:30.

DANCE FOR AIDS...Time''s running out to book a ressie at the annual Crystal Ball at the Hyatt. It''s the important fund-raising event put on by John XXIII AIDS Ministry to help out people living with HIV/AIDS and the folks who love them. The event takes place on Valentine''s Day, February 14 at 7pm. Tickets need to be purchased before the seventh, so get on it. If you can''t make it, send a check with a tax-deductible donation to John XXIII AIDS Ministry and mail it to PO Box 1931, Monterey, 93942. Call 655-1737 for info or help.

FAREWELL FELIX...Some bad news for old time Carmel restaurant goers...Chez Felix, the venerable French bistro on Monte Verde and Seventh, has closed after 22 years of service. Apparently, the building it is housed in was bought, and plans by the new owners don''t include this restaurant. I spoke briefly to Madeline Tourel who, with husband Jean Louis, delighted customers with excellent food and service at reasonable prices, about the couples'' plans. She said that they would spend a little time fixing up the house and possibly find another location. We will wait and see. No matter what, we salute the dedication and commitment to excellence displayed by these two titans. Twenty-two years of running a restaurant is not for the faint of heart.

SENOR VINO...My man Richard Kanakaris of Pavona Wines is on the case (that''s a good pun) once again. Pavo Real and Blanco y Rojo, two new wines from Pavona, are rolling out on March 1 with the Hispanic population as their target. It will be the first wine created specifically to complement traditional Hispanic cuisine and the first wine marketed to the rapidly growing Hispanic consumer.

The white, a Chardonnay blend, is barrel-fermented dry and exhibits flavors of apple, grapefruit and butterscotch. The red, a Syrah, has concentrated flavors of cherries and plums and is aged for one year in small oak barrels.

The wines will have bi-lingual marketing and advertising, they come in vibrant, multi-color packaging and offer superb quality at a great price. Also, Pavona Wines plans to contribute a percentage of its taxable income from Pavo Real to programs that help the needy in the communities where it is sold. Right on Richard.

STOP CRYING...Rio Grill is offering Parents'' Night Out, an event co-hosted by Corporate Kids Events, an award-winning VIP childcare provider. The big night takes place on Thursday, Feb. 13 and has a Valentine''s Day theme. Parents will get a three-course dinner plus half bottle of Champagne while the kiddies will be treated to an evening of games, gift-making workshops, craft stations, etc. in Rio Grill''s private Santa Fe Room. Ressies are available at 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30pm and the cost is $95 plus tip and tax. That includes one kid--add others for 15 bucks each. Call Rio Grill, 625-5436, for info.

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of Julia Child''s first TV show the American Institute of Wine & Food is hosting Beef Bourguignon for the Masses on Feb. 11 in cities across the nation. Julia made "the best stew known to man" on her first show. I''m not sure exactly how this whole thing''s supposed to work but check it out at aiwf.org or call Heidi Yost at 800-274-2493. Go Julia.

--Speak your truth to ray@coastweekly.com