Squid Fry for Jul 03, 2003
Thursday, July 3, 2003
GREAT SEXPECTATIONS...Squid wasn't shocked last week when the County Supervisors decided to appoint a special committee to stall--oops, Squid means review--the draft General Plan. Apparently Squid and Squid's telegenic colleague weren't the only canny, Cosmo-lovers in the audience late Tuesday night. "When I got home from my charmless workday and long commute, my soul mate made me a Cosmopolitan," writes a like-minded mollusk. "It's very sweet and you can't tell how strong it is until you've finished it. I finished it. It was strong. Afterwards, I couldn't help but reflect dreamily on the Coast Weekly's recent inside-scoop pieces 'Sex and the County,' about the General Plan Update process, now dragging on into its fourth year. In my Cosmo fog, I decided we needed yet another new group to fight the county general plan, with me in it, because I too want to get rich at the expense of everybody else. Our new group's strategy will be similar to some others': to kill the General Plan by 'meeting it to death.' We'll have meetings, lots of meetings, forever, and we'll whine that we aren't being listened to. What we want is lots of stuff built where it currently is not."
Sounds good to Squid so far. So Squid took another sip, and kept on reading.
"Our group shall be called Buy Us Time To Help Ensure Astronomical Development (BUTTHEAD)," continues aforementioned cephalopod. "Our leader will probably be one of the Lombardo and Gilles (Motto: You give us money, we give it to the Supervisors, they approve your project) staffers they hired away from the county, after first getting a few development projects through under their plannership. Want to join my group? You--or maybe your fab 'Sex and the County' reporter, could sit next to one of the cute cowboy/developers at the big table?"
COED NAKED RACING TEAM...On July 5, CSUMB grad Tamara Murphy will run for the bulls (as opposed to with the bulls) in Pamplona, Spain, wearing nothing but plastic bull horns and a bright red scarf around her neck. Murphy's involved in promoting the "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign run by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' (PETA), and she's one of PETA's Lettuce Ladies, who puts on a green "lettuce" bikini and promotes veggie dogs, mock lobster and other vegan foods. (Think: Fosters/Bacardi/insert-your-alcohol-of-choice-here Girls at bars.)
"I'm not an exhibitionist by nature, but if showing my skin will save the bulls' hides and open people's eyes to the cruelty behind the Running of the Bulls and the bullfights, consider me stripped," Murphy says.
(Umm, it doesn't sound like Murphy has any problem dropping trou in public. Doesn't that an exhibitionist make?)
Squid, for one, would love to watch butt-nekkid runners live. But Squid can't afford a flight to Spain, and will have to settle for watching Bay Watch re-runs instead. Squid sympathizes completely with Murphy's plight. After all, when it comes to getting one's point across, what's a 24-year-old blonde woman with a hot bod to do?