THE FOOD NETWORK... As you know, I''ve been whining in print for quite a while about our cable provider not providing this great channel. As much as I''d like to take some credit for it finally being here...get real, you think SBC Global has any idea that some rinky-dink blowhard with 800 words a week in a Monterey newspaper had been carping about no Food Network? Doubt it. Regardless, glad it''s here. They still desperately need my own proposed show, however, Cooking With Grandma.

VALLEY BRUNCH... Got a good tip from Jeanne Howard, one of our stalwart food writers. Will''s Fargo, the near-landmark restaurant out in Carmel Valley, is now serving brunch on Sunday from 10:30 until 2. Chef Jerome Viel (I like a chef whose name is almost the same as an important meat) has a great buffet set up with Prime Rib, Eggs Benedict, Smoked Salmon, fruit, pastries, desserts...the list goes on. It''s $27 smackeroos per person, half price for children under 12 (but the kids can''t order Bloodies). They even have live music--usually jazz, sometimes classical. It''s quite pleasant on the patio, but if the sun''s a bit too intense, keep the shades on and get a nice cozy table inside, sip a Bloody, some good strong coffee, groove into the music and stroll around when the hunger comes...or duke a waiter a twensky and let one of them get it for you. Either way, you win. Will''s Fargo, 659-2774.

TWO DAYS OF FUN... That brunch fits nicely into my plan for the perfect weekend, Saturday and Sunday Oct. 25-26. It goes something like this (you''ve gotta find your own activity for Friday night): Saturday morning, hit your favorite grooming shop and get groomed. Then go buy something new to wear--not too fancy, just cool and comfortable. In the late afternoon, you and a bunch of your single friends head over to 1645 River Rd. in Salinas from 4 to 8pm and check out the inimitable Richard Kanakaris as he and Pavona Wines host an >"Autumn Soiree For Singles" at the Pavona tasting room. Wine tasting, hors d''oeuvres, music, beautiful surroundings and interesting new people to talk to add up to a delightfully unique early evening. At only 20 bucks--ten if you''re a Club Pavona member (isn''t everyone?). It''s almost like stealing. Call now for info or RSVP to 646-1506.

After you''ve met an exciting new bunch of friends (and maybe something more) at the Pavona Soiree, go to one of the great eateries around town (email me for suggestions), eat a long, multi-course, leisurely dinner, then maybe go someplace for a nightcap, some music and dancing, then hopefully, a little late night calisthenics...Then, Sunday morning, a little snoozy, wake up whoozy, head out to Will''s for a culinary Jacuzzi, come back to life with maybe the future wife, then go straight to the Monterey Beer Festival, noon to 5pm at the Monterey Coast Guard Pier, to eliminate all strife. Twenty bucks buys you tastings from 35 breweries, along with live music and plenty of gourmet nibblings from some of my favorite eateries. Oh Yeah.

SLOUGH STUFF... Call Kim Solano at the Haute Enchilada (633-5843) about the Moss Landing Village Festival on Oct. 26 from 11am-5pm. It''s a fundraiser for Monterey Bay Youth, an organization that helps...Monterey Bay youth. They take kids out to Elkhorn Slough (now there''s an interesting word) to teach them about what''s happening in the natural kingdom. More on this next week.

NEW AND NOTEWORTHY... Here''s a happy event: Marci Bracco, the hardest working girl in PR (public relations, not Puerto Rico) and a person who feeds me much important info about what''s happening around here, found someone who''ll put up with her crazy schedule. Brian Cain, owner of San Benito Tire in Hollister, married Marci on Oct. 11 in Los Gatos. I say right on and many happy happys.

Mindy LaKamp, PR coordinator for Valley Resort Management, the group that owns Bernardus Lodge, has been beating the bushes telling everyone who''ll listen about Marinus, the top-notch restaurant in Bernardus, getting a great review and placement in the world famous Zagat Restaurant Guide. The 2004 issue for San Francisco Bay Area restaurants has Marinus listed as one of the top overall Bay Area joints (although I don''t think they actually referred to it as a joint). The guide goes on to list Marinus in various other categories by cuisine, service, decor, etc. Marinus joins some pretty heady company like Boulevard, French Laundry and Gary Danko. Oh, and don''t forget a few other local favorites like Passionfish, Sierra Mar, Fresh Cream, Pacific''s Edge and a few others that are in the guide. Congrats Marinus.