WE WANT THE RICH... Oh, goody. Squid was beginning to think Squid was the only one who truly believes only the rich deserve ocean views, open space and parks, a half-dozen golf courses within maybe a 10-mile radius and all the other perks of homeownership in Monterey. It turns out Squid's not the only one. According to a press release from one Kevin Miller, Esq. "Minister of Pedantic Theory," like-minded activists will gather this Thursday, Oct. 16, between 5-7pm at Windows-by-the-Bay Park in Monterey: "We, the affluent and proud of Monterey wish to cast off our previous mumblings and declare to the entire populace of the county: 'We hate affordable housing! We need golf courses! We need large garages! Let the workers starve!'"

(Hmmm, how does Miller know that Squid mans the unaffordable-housing desk?)

Squid's ears perked up: "Ahem. In the spirit of our newfound openness, we (The Society of the Noxious and Obtuse Bourgeois) shall be staging a demonstration against affordable housing...There we shall also be unveiling our new design for worker/poor housing in the county: a tent. Plenty of martinis shall be drunk, sweaters shall be graciously tied around the neck, and loafers shall be plentiful."

These SNOBs sound like Squid's kind of people. Miller even suggests picket signs: "The Poor Should Live In Caves," "Affordable Housing No! Slums Yes!" "Affordable Housing=Communist Plot," "I Need Land For My Five-Car Garage," and "Gentrification Is Not A Crime." But by Squid's count, that's only five, so Squid will have to make up Squid's own for Squid's other three tentacles.

There's one line at the bottom of the press release that worries Squid: It's a "mocuprotest." Drat. Squid should have known it sounded too good to be true. Like that one time when the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary staff floated the idea of banning squid fishing in some parts of the Sanctuary. No fishermen and no poor people in the Monterey Bay. Well, Squid can always dream.

HERE'S THE LINE. THERE'S KATHRINA... While Squid sat through a water board debate last week, and listened to the six would-be Monterey Peninsula Water Management District directors argue about desalination plants and who's greener than whom, someone in the parking lot tucked a purple flyer into the Squidmobile. "Elect Kathrina Ognyanovich, MPC Board," it read. "For The People." Squid's black, beady eyes traveled a little further down the flyer...and onto a picture of the side of Ognyanovich's head with Mrs. Rosa Parks?! Can Ognyanovich say overkill? She's campaigning for a seat on the Monterey Peninsula College Board of Trustees--the late Sam Karas unseated her in November 2001--by peddling an image of herself with civil right's pioneer Rosa Parks? Looks like shameless marketing, even for Squid's general obnoxious and appalling tastes. Parks was arrested for not standing to let a white passenger take her seat, and Ognyanovich wants to sit on a board that oversees the local community college. Nope, Squid still doesn't see the connection.