SGT. SQUID...It's official. Squid's a cephalopod in uniform. Squid's got Squid's badge-no gun, though-and Squid's even thinking about growing one of them handlebar mustaches. Yup, it's Deputy Squid to all you civilian mollusks from now on. Squid knows the MONTEREY COUNTY SHERIFF's department is understaffed and overworked. So Squid decided it was Squid's civic duty to join the peace officer family. Apparently Sheriff MIKE KANALAKIS agrees. In a letter dated Sept. 2, Kanalakis writes, "I have received and reviewed your application for an official badge and police identification and I am pleased to inform you that it has been approved." Yippee! Squid pumped Squid's tentacles into the air in celebration. And then inked the CARMEL POLICE DEPARTMENT for not appointing Squid to the force. Think Squid can't hold Squid's own against one of those pesky Carmel raccoons? Think again.

"I am appointing you an honorary deputy," Kanalakis continues.

Honorary? Squid will gloss over that little word. Monterey Countyites can talk to the badge when Squid's arresting them for speeding-or for driving too slow in the fast lane.

"With great power comes great responsibility, Mr. Squidfry," writes Kanalakis. "So as the only qualified mollusk in Monterey County authorized to carry these credentials please do not abuse your authority."

Drat.

"Your badge should not be used to get out of speeding tickets or investigate violations of the PATRIOT ACT."

Awww, being a deputy is no fun at all. Squid thinks Squid will look into the vigilante business.

TERMINATORS...At their Sept. 9 meeting, County Supes were expected to end the 10-year lease of the county-operated LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE. Squid wasn't at the Tuesday morning meeting-Squid had a very important, err, manicure to attend to-but according to a board report, administrators recommended that the supervisors break the lease early, at a cost of $153,000 to $261,000. Now this move, no doubt, will thrill county employee unions-SEIU bigwigs JOHN VELLARDITA and WREN BRADLEY have said repeatedly that the building's a waste of money. And the fact that it's Monterey County CEO SALLY REED's pet project doesn't exactly endear the building to the unions.

Squid, however, is worried about the General Plan REFINEMENT COMMITTEE-where will it meet? The panel, which has been gathering weekly at the Leadership Institute, was supposed to complete its work and disband last week. But most of the members said they want to continue meeting-sans those pesky environmental groups [the details are in "Sex & the County," page 10]. The lease requires nine months notice for termination, so that does give the refinement group a few additional dates. But really, can the newly truncated committee successfully kill the General Plan in only nine months?