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OPEN HOUSE, OPEN CHECKBOOKS… Squid needs new friends, preferably the kind with money trees out back. In other words, Squid needs Monterey County Sheriff Mike Kanalakis’ friends. Squid throws an open house; Squid gets a couple bottles of wine. Kanalakis throws an open house—in the middle of a huge fiscal emergency, Squid might add—and Kanalakis rakes in $2,915 from his friends.

Maybe Squid should borrow the Sonoma County Sheriff’s helicopter for Squid’s next open house. It worked for Kanalakis.

Last week, County Supervisors approved Kanalakis’ request to accept donations from individuals and organizations to help offset the cost of his “first annual” Sheriff’s open house on May 22. Kanalakis told the Board that most of the planning occurred during on-duty time, “but there was an amount of overtime”—118 overtime hours, to be exact. According to a report he presented to the Supes, AG Davi, Ltd., Armanasco Public Relations, Coca-Cola Bottling Company, Don Chapin Company, Los Gatos Bagpipers and Old Fisherman’s Grotto were among the many who made a contribution to the event.

But not everyone agreed that the open house was such a good idea after all.

According to an angry e-mail sent out to all local media the day before the Board of Supervisors’ meeting from a group calling itself Friends United for Cops, Kanalakis and Deputies, “Sheriff Mike Kanalakis promised that his first Open House…was not going to cost the County a dime. He in fact denied that any overtime would be approved to prepare or staff the Open House. The Sheriff stated that management would be donating their time to staff the Open House. Why, almost two months later, is Sheriff Kanalakis asking the Board of Supervisors to approve the acceptance of private donations to offset the cost of the Open House?”

Well, Squid’s stumped. So Squid’s going to do what Squid usually does in situations like these—blame it on the damn bagpipers.

DUELING DESAL…The three, competing desalination projects just may be Squid’s very favorite thing to fry, in large part because it’s so fun to ink the words: Dueling Desal. There’s Cal-Am’s proposal, that hasn’t nailed down a site, an estimated cost, or an on-line target date. There’s also the Nader Agha/Pajaro-Sunny Mesa Community Services District’s proposed plant—that does have a site, a price tag and could be online in 18 months. And finally, there’s a significantly smaller Sand City plant favored by environmentalists.

Lately, all three projects have been parading around the Peninsula, lobbying for support, political and otherwise. But Cal-Am has led the pack, hosting polished workshops and informational meetings about their planned project, all buffed to a nice, Armanasco PR shine.

On Friday, Aug. 6, Cal-Am VP Steve Leonard and Monterey Peninsula Water Management District General Manager David Berger will duke it out at the Monterey Peninsula Chamber of Commerce’s breakfast series (call 648-5356 for details), focusing on water issues.

Okay, so they won’t really duke it out—they are both gentlemen, not cephalopods. We’ll have to wait for the dueling desals to do the dirty work.