I don’t sleep much—not as much as most people. Consequently, I experience more of each 24-unit time measurement than a lot of people. I love to watch Don Imus in the wee hours, simulcasting his syndicated radio show on MSNBC from 3 to 6am, Monday thru Friday.

I was watching it last week while he had both a Catholic priest and a Jewish Rabbi as guests. They were right there in the studio. Both gentlemen had obviously been around a while and had that cool demeanor of New York City clergy—guys who had seen and heard a lot. One of them told a great story that I’d like to share (stop me if you’ve already heard it—hah hah, you can’t stop me, this is not an interactive column. You can only stop yourself):

A native American boy asks his Grandfather about the meaning of life. Grandfather tells the boy that inside all of us live two wolves. One wolf is all about goodness, honesty, sacrifice, kindness, sharing, courage, peace and nobility. The other wolf is all about cunning, dishonesty, greed, violence, disrespect, vanity and base behavior. These two wolves are constantly at battle with each other. The boy asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins the battle?” His Grandfather replied, “the one you feed.”

The one you feed. Man, that’s good stuff…beats sleeping any day.

The Salvation Army is facing a food shortage this year. Do like Chris Shake, owner of Fish Hopper and a few other local restaurants is doing…help. He’s hitting up the food vendors to donate, plus he’s purchasing food and donating it. Chris is trying to get other restaurant owners on board to bulk up this holiday season’s Salvation Army needs.

You don’t have to be a restaurant to help. Donate some canned foods—think about good, nutritious, protein-rich stuff—at the Salvation Army, 800 Scott Street, Sand City, 899-4988 or call Karen Rodriguez at 645-9124 or krodriguez@netpipe.com.

PIGGY PUDDING—NO, BUT… Christmas Pudding is a centuries old treat that is consumed at the Christmas dinner tables in Great Britain. Often, it contains a lucky sixpence piece inside and is flamed with good brandy prior to serving. For the past few years, Chef Tony Baker (he of the increasingly famous “Ove Glove” as seen on TV and inter-galactic advertising) has been making a bunch of these in traditional “Mason Cash” pudding bowls. Tony told me: “I make them using the traditional fresh beef suet and steam them in cheese cloth. This recipe is from my Mum and is one that’s been passed down to her. It contains copious quantities of booze, including Guinness and brandy as well as citrus, almonds, raisins, sultanas and currants.” That sounds about right to me.

Each pudding will serve six to eight people, costs $24.50 plus tax, and comes with heating and serving directions. Also, buyers get to keep the bowl. Call Montrio at 648-8880 to order yours now…and hurry, they’re very limited and sell out pronto.

THE GODDESS OF WINE… Here’s a holiday gift idea. I don’t know if many of you are aware (some of you out there know what I mean) of the extensive cult collecting of Marilyn Monroe wines. There have been wines, usually Merlot and Cabernet, that have been produced for 18 years, with classic photos of The Marilyn as the label—each vintage is a new photo.

To try to get a vertical, which is one bottle from each vintage, will set you back something like $2,000. Folks from all walks of life come out of the woodwork to score these things. Just so happens the producers bought the rights to some of the classic 1949 Tom Kelly photos (the photos that helped launch Playboy magazine) of a young, absolutely breathtaking, knee-weakeningly magnificent Marilyn Monroe posing nude and demonstrating why there is no greater art form than the female body. She is unfurled upon rich red velvet—lily white pistil in a deep red rose.

The Cabernet/Merlot blend is called the Velvet Collection. It comes in luxuriously boxed, individually numbered 1.5 liter bottles (magnums) or in Premiere Collectors’ sets of 750ml, magnum and double magnum bottles offered in wooden presentation cases. Each bottle is protected with a tasteful plastic overlay on the label to cover the parts of Marilyn’s body that might be deemed inappropriate (in this day and age it would be appropriate to have photos of automatic weapons but not a nude photo of one of the world’s most iconic female figures—but don’t get me started). The overlay may be removed upon purchase to properly present our Marilyn as she was meant to be presented.

Bob Massaro, who for the past five years has observed the purchasing habits of the American wine-buying public at his Terranova Fine Wines in downtown Monterey, bought an extensive cache of this tightly allocated wine. It is on display now at his location at the corner of Del Monte and Calle Principal. Give a call to 333-1313 or stop by to check it out. It’s not cheap, but as Joe DiMaggio, Arthur Miller, John Kennedy, Sam Giancana and countless others knew…Marilyn Monroe was everything but cheap.

STACCATO… E-mail George Edwards for his great holiday gift idea newsletter, george@montereywinemarket.com; go see him at Country Club Gate Center or call him at 646-0107 to find out what to buy…Call JR Brewski’s in Gilroy (408) 847-9024. They’re doing three different seating times on New Year’s Eve to accommodate all types of revelers and will guarantee a good time…Master Sommelier Catherine Fallis, one-time wine writer for this rag, has two new Grape Goddess guides to good living out: Erotic Foods and Champagne and Sparkling Wine. They’re available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and booksamillion.com. Planetgrape.com will give you a bit more insight about her…Silvia Herrera has opened Tico’s Breakfast and Lunch Restaurant at 330 Reservation Road in Marina, 582-2509. Chef is Alberto Vasquez, former Sous Chef out at Jeffrey’s Grill—Ted Walter’s favorite breakfast place…Peace on Earth baby, Peace on Earth.