When the United States military invaded Iraq, Robert Hawkins, a former expert combat medic in the Army, decided to rejoin the armed forces. Instead of applying ointments to injured soldiers during his trip to Iraq in November, Hawkins, who became a comedian after his three years in the Army, provided the troops with some laughs.

“To return there as a former military guy was sweet as tits,” he says of the experience.

After all, his friends in the military pressured him to chase his dream of being a standup comedian in the first place.

“I was told by some other (Army) guys to get into show business,” Hawkins says. “I think they were trying to get me out so that I didn’t get them killed.”

A couple years after his honorable discharge from the Army in 1998, Hawkins jumped up onstage at a medieval-themed restaurant in Dallas, Texas and did five minutes of standup comedy in front of the crowd there. “I was high for two months after that performance,” he says.

Though that was the first time Hawkins had done comedy onstage, the Hollywood, Florida native had been entertaining his 10-person family since an early age. “I was writing jokes and sketches as soon as I could write,” Hawkins says.

In 1994, after being selected as a finalist for the San Francisco International Comedy Competition, Hawkins became a sketch writer for the Johnny Steele Morning Radio Show. The gig eventually led to a job working as one of the writers for the Fox sitcom Titus. Though Hawkins had little acting experience, he had a recurring role on television as Titus’ brother-in-law, Michael.

“If anyone tells anyone I was good in it, I give most of the credit to the editor,” he says. “I didn’t write an Emmy speech; I didn’t even write an outline.”

Since the show was dropped, Hawkins has taped his own Comedy Central special and returned to standup, where he has been cracking up some audiences and scaring others.

“I present the darkest part of me onstage, because that is the funniest to me,” he says. “But if I commit too much, they think that I am serious when I say I’m going to kill someone.”

Despite the occasional shocked crowd, Hawkins says that 2003 was a really good year. The comedian says he traveled to Asia and Iraq, bought property in Los Angeles, taped his Comedy Central special and found out how to use his Earthlink account.

For 2004, Hawkins has just one simple goal. “If I can have a million people give me a dollar,” he says. “I don’t need much. I just need a million five, and I’m out.”

Robert Hawkins performs at 9:15pm Thursday, Friday and Saturday at Planet Gemini, 625 Cannery Row, Monterey. 373-1449.