I love Christmas. I can sing the song “Sisters” from the movie White Christmas almost word for word. (See Martha? I told you.) When I start thinking about “We’ll follow the old man wherever he wants to go…” from the same movie, with Dean Jagger looking so upright in his dress uniform, I just about bust a dam on my emotional river. I know it’s mostly a mildly jingoistic propaganda movie, but I really dig the corny love stories within, the classic songs like, “When I get troubled and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep, counting my blessings.” And it’s got Bing. You can’t go wrong when you’ve got Bing.

I love all the Christmas movies, love Christmas music—except for some of the really hokey stuff—love Christmas lights, Christmas presents, Christmas trees, Christmas dinner, the works. I don’t consider it a religious holiday either. I know there are other religious celebrations around the same time, but Christmas is unique; Madison Avenue saw to that years ago. In a land that boasts a number of full-time television stations dedicated to shopping ‘round the clock, the true driving force in our lives is advertising.

In the past, I may have railed against that a bit more, but nowadays, I’m a true believer. I say a big Amen to tithing at the foot of the almighty Shopping Mall. I’m talking conspicuous consumption, baby. I’m talking about hurry up, I’ve only got a few days left and I’ve gotta get that brand new this or that because I just know I have to buying frenzy. Sometimes, when I listen closely, the folks on QVC start speaking in tongues. It’s truly divine.

GOODNESS AND BADNESS… I’ll tell you what’s divine, I will: THE MASTERS OF FOOD AND WINE. Tickets are on sale now for the Feb. 16-19 affair, the 20th anniversary. 800-401-1009 or www.mfandw.com. Need I say more?

Another thing that was pretty divine was the special holiday party KERRY LOUTAS of L’Escargot in Carmel threw for about 40 of his faithful friends and customers. I just happened to be going by that night so I discreetly threatened Kerry with trashing him in the press if he didn’t invite me in for his delicious cioppino. Of course he took me up on my generous offer whereby I proceeded to eat as much as humanly possible and make an ass of myself—just want to be able to share during the holidays. Everyone had a great time (except for a few people who happened to be sitting near me. I don’t know what was wrong with them) and it was a really nice gesture on Kerry’s part. Oh yeah, something about ALLISON saying “I do”…more to come on that in the future.

FROM THE NEWSROOM… My field correspondent, MARK C. ANDERSON, sent me the following great info from around the Peninsula. I’ll give it to you his way: “Ray, got some nibbles from around town that I thought I’d pass along. Things are good in the Valley. Bernardus has owned Will’s Fargo for over a year and it’s clearly in no danger of losing its title as arguably the best place for steak in town. With their Prime Rib and Filet Mignon, they may have two of the top five red meat dishes in the county on one menu; 659-2774.

“Up the block, Thai Village has new management: namely, friendly JANE PINYOBORISUT is cooking and hustling and smiling in the kitchen or meeting guests, visibly happy to be putting to work all she learned growing up with (and taking classes on) the art of Thai food. The peaceful sunny patio could use an upgrade over the concrete and patio furniture (not on par with the inside), but coming from a couple who spent over a month in country last year, the pad Thai (which we had almost daily in Bangkok and on the islands) is delicious and authentic. I would ask for it spicy next time, though, Jane’s standard issue is mild for the wimpy Western palate. Curry and spring rolls also great; 659-5819.

“Back by the bay, another good thing is cookin’: Amir’s Kabob House opened on Lighthouse across from Kinko’s. Owner-manager ALI is working insane hours in leading another family operation. Dishes like Mantwo and Shornakhod are impossible to find anywhere else. Had best vegetable side I’ve had in a long time, the sautéed cauliflower, and I don’t like cauliflower too much. The cream roll is a killer dessert, but it’s the kabobs that are the reason to go. The lamb and chicken kabobs are memorable, but the salmon kabobs are what have me thinking this place is for real; 642-0231. Also, though I haven’t been, Mi Familia has opened up a bigger spot right near Amir’s on Lighthouse as well. Keep chewin’, Mark.”

Kudos to my man Mark; I believe that boy could be the heir apparent.

A CULINARY CHRISTMAS… Hey, a great holiday gift idea for all you food lovers out there is the hilariously well-crafted book entitled: Monterey Bay Cooks! Exploring restaurants from Moss Landing to Carmel Valley…one recipe at a time. It’s compiled by the Geezer Chicks, MICHELE R. REIS, JANE FRAVEL GORDON and KATHLEEN DRISCOLL HALLAM, who published it themselves (Geezer Chicks Publications), their second production. In 2004 they came out with Santa Cruz Cooks.

For this one they acknowledge the all-star team of DAVID BABCOCK and DREW CHERNOY, CARON DESEGUIRANT, STACY HENDRICKS, JUDY HUYCK, DAVID LANG and DOROTHY MARAS-ILDIZ for their help as well. Nice lineup.

Monterey Bay Cooks is loaded with helpful information: “Did you know that a portabella mushroom has more potassium than a banana,” that type of stuff sprinkled throughout. And the recipes from places like Rio Grill, Edgar’s, Alberto’s, La Scuola, Norma Jean’s, Ling Chow, Stillwater Bar & Grill and dozens more are easy to follow and include a nice little write-up about the restaurant.

This is a user-friendly, fun-to-read and good-to-have-around-for-referencing book with a lot of heart and soul, created by three obviously talented women with a very good idea. Pick this jewel up at local bookstores as well as specialty spots like Clementine’s Kitchen…the reason? I’ll let Michele Reis tell you: “Makes a great gift, easily fits in the overhead baggage compartment, and can be eaten in the event your next meal will be coming from FEMA.” Contact her at michelereis@earthlink.net.

Ciao for now and Merry Merry Christmas to you.

PS:… Just the other day, someone asked me if I knew a good restaurant to eat dinner in on Christmas. Oddly enough, just got a notice from Max’s Grill in PG that Max and Yuko will be serving dinner on both Christmas Eve as well as Christmas Day. For the folks who are looking to eat out on those evenings, you can’t go wrong at Max’s. Call now for rezzies; 375-7997, www.maxgrill.com.