BACK WITH A VENGEANCE…Squid loves a good scandal—especially when Squid can smell it coming. And believe Squid, it didn’t take a hunting dog to sniff this one out. Nope, even a mere mollusk—like yours truly—could do the job.

But first, some history. A decade ago developer JIM MORGENS came up with a plan to build 100 luxury homes on Carmel Valley’s SEPTEMBER RANCH. The County Supervisors approved the project in ‘98, but a year later, Judge RICHARD SILVER nixed the development, citing a bogus water supply analysis in the Environmental Impact Report. The next week PAT BERNARDI and others filed a lawsuit against MONTEREY COUNTY, arguing that attorneys working for the law firm LOMBARDO & GILLES—representing September Ranch developer Morgens—were “ghostwriting” planning and water agency documents. Now, 16 years later, it looks like déjà vu, all over again.

September Ranch resurfaced. So did its critics, who say that there’s still not enough water, that attorneys were hired to write a key water section of the draft EIR, and charge that the County wants to rush to approve the project without any public oversight.

In March, Bernardi and THE OPEN MONTEREY PROJECT, along with attorney MICHAEL STAMP, filed another lawsuit, asking the court to force the County to comply with the state’s PUBLIC RECORDS ACT and make all September Ranch documents available.

On July 15, they got some good news. The court found that the County must release the public records to—get this—the public. Bernardi and co. are still waiting for the paperwork. But Squid can smell scandal in the air.

PREZ IN THE MAIL…Squid prides Squidself on mail. The more Squid gets, the better Squid feels. Doesn’t even matter what kind of mail: voicemail, e-mail, snail mail, junk mail. It’s an ego thing. And, as one might expect from a mail mongrel, Squid is on everyone’s mailing list.

But Squid has finally decided that it may be time to reconsider the whole it’s-so-cool-to-be-on-everyone’s-mailing-list thing. Yes, it was all fun and games until the latest mailer came in: an invitation cordially inviting Squid(!) personally to dinner with the president: Mr. GEORGE W. BUSH his-self.

Well, all right. The Bush man wouldn’t actually be there, but Squid would get to fly to Washington (on Squid’s own dime, natch) and make a donation.

Squid felt so privileged, until the fine print. Squid could only donate up to $53,000. Damn those contribution limits.

But there’s a consolation prize to make up for it: With the donation, Squid will get a “lovely, casual, frame-able black-and-white photo” of the Prez and the Mrs., which, the invitation directs, should be proudly displayed on a coffee table, bookcase, or other prominent area of Squid’s home.

Sadly, payday isn’t for another two weeks, so Squid will have to sit this 53k out. But it’s probably for the best. Squid doesn’t need more photos. It’s so hard to get those frames through the shredder.

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