Thursday, March 3, 2005
GOLDEN TOUCH…Finally! It seems Squid’s back inside Clint Eastwood’s circle of friends. You like Squid! You really, really like Squid, don’t you, Clint? Ahhhh. Squid’s going to take a brief moment, and bask in the warm, rosy glow.
At that other awards show last month—the one where all the movie and TV stars get sloshed and give long, rambling acceptance speeches upon winning a golden statue—Squid’s feelings were hurt. Eastwood won Best Director for Million Dollar Baby, and accepted his Golden Globe…without any words of thanks to a certain Monterey County cephalopod. Well, needless to say, Squid’s been down and out ever since. (Note Squid’s restraint: Squid could insert a joke along the lines of “Squid didn’t feel lucky,” or “Squid’s mood spanned the latter two thirds of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” but Squid’s gonna resist.)
Oh yeah, and Mr. Movie-Star-Slash-Director-Slash-Score-Writer-Slash-I’m-More-Talented-Than-God also forgot to thank his wife, Dina Ruiz-Eastwood. Dina, Squid felt your pain. But Sunday night’s Academy Awards made up for the Globe faux pas—and more. Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby won four Oscars, for Best Picture, Director, Actress and Supporting Actor. And upon hearing Barbra Streisand announce Clint’s name, as the winner for the year’s Best Picture, neither Dina nor Squid could stay seated. (The only difference being tall, gorgeous Dina looks lovely jumping up and down in high couture, tears streaming down her face. Squid jumping up and down, tentacles popping out of Squid’s Versace number—not so hot.)
And finally, the words Squid has been waiting to hear all night. Clint thanked his beautiful bride, then saluted “everyone at home in Monterey County.” Woohoo! Squid knows that shout out was intended for Squid. Yup, Clint made Squid’s day.
THE VOICE OF THRIFT…Squid was amused to find out that the City of Monterey wants some suggestions about where to find an extra $2 million in the 2005-2006 budget. How about a $14 million City Hall instead of a $16 million City Hall? How about putting a gate on either end of Cannery Row and charging $8.25 to drive down it? How about charging the 15 or so cruise ships that dock in town 133 grand apiece? Squid’s imagination went wild.
Wouldn’t it be great to be a Squid-on-the-wall at the meeting on Wednesday evening, March 23, in the council chambers, when the usual half-dozen wackos…er, concerned citizens, call for putting the homeless to work desalinating the ocean by hand, or cutting city employees’ salaries? Squid foresees an ugly orgy of acrimony among the threatened
Monterey programs. Inevitably the cops will be trying to
close the book on the library folk who will be trying to cut
down the forester who will try to make the museums history.
Someone has to go. It’s survival of the most vocal. Or maybe
Squid is just being jaded.
SEND SQUID A LITTLE GOLD MAN: SQUID@MCWEEKLY.COM