JUST BREATHE…Here’s a little word association game Squid likes to play. Work: bad. Clean air: good. Free cash: even better. Squid’s talking about a new Association of Monterey Bay Area Governments’ (AMBAG) campaign to cut down on commuting and clean the air.

According to AMBAG’s recently published state of the region report, from 1990 to 2003, the preferred mode of travel to work across the AMBAG region (Monterey, Santa Cruz and San Benito counties) was to drive alone. In 2003, only 1.8 percent of Monterey County’s population used public transportation to get to and from work. On the other hand, 91.3 percent drove a car. And of that 91.3 percent, 77.4 percent drove alone. That’s a lot of lonely drivers.

This brings Squid to May 2005, aka Clean Air Month. Yay! Clean Air! Woohoo! (Sorry, Squid gets really excited over these specially named months.) Commit to using a sustainable transportation mode at least four times during the month of May and you—yes, you—could win $1,000! Oh yeah, and you’d be doing something good for the planet, too. To register, call 1-888-BAY-POOL or visit www.CleanAirMonth.net.

Just don’t steal Squid’s idea: Squid’s gonna promote clean air by not working during the month of May. Squid’s gonna lounge around at home in Squid’s underwear and forgo driving to the Weekly office—how’s that for conservation? Spare the air and Squid’s brain.

BEAM ME UP…Squid’s got to get a new passport. The old one expired a while ago, and the photo features Squid many years younger, as a fresh-faced college student. Plus, Squid wants to be ready for the new travel requirements. By the end of next year, Squid’s trip to Mexico to party in Puerto Vallarta will also require el pasaporto. (This only applies to air and sea travel, land border crossings to Canada and Mexico won’t be affected until the end of 2007.)

But Squid’s not sure how the new passport requirements will affect psychic travel—travel through a “Cosmic Airport.” Confused? Squid was too, when Squid received a press release advertising a workshop in Monterey May 14 and 15, promoting a “Singing Heart Cosmic Airport.” For $150, locals can get astrological readings with Jacqueline Maria Longstaff, and hear about “Jacqueline’s mission…to establish Cosmic Airports throughout the world.

According to the press release, Longstaff envisions “an arrival lounge…where women could give birth to babies in an enlightened energy field so babies [arrive] conscious and untraumatised.”

The press release continues, “The departure lounge…for people who are dying…supported in dying a conscious death with the possibility to move into enlightenment.” (Squid notices that there are no guarantees here of actual enlightenment.)

“The transit lounge…for everyone else…celebrating the ups and downs of life in a conscious way…” Oh, Squid’s still confused. Does Squid have to move into the airport lounge? They always smell like old socks and newspapers. And Squid doesn’t like airports in general, much less airports crowded with conscious people.

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