SHORT SHORT STORIES: TOO SAD

Next year, a few months before the contest [“Fast Reads,” Jan 5], could you put your 101 word short story judges on Prozac? Thanks. —Anne Jones | Pacific Grove

HOW TO SPELL LIKE A NORTH DAKOTAN

To put a touch of levity to the seriousness of last week’s letters: Pat Stocks from Marina had an interesting submittal. The only issue I will make is that the Norwegian food is spelled “lefse,” with an “e,” not an “a.” Lefse is a food made from potatoes. I grew up with it in North Dakota—assuming that I have grown up! —Terry Olson | Moss Landing

TO ALL JOURNALISTS: FEAR SQUID

Watch out, local media (radio, TV, print): stay away from these stories, they all belong to the Coast (sic) Weekly, the only reputable organization that can do a good job at gathering facts already reported elsewhere:

Where to pick up hot dudes at the club. Cute sea otters and other marine life. How big the waves of winter (sic). Housing—or Selling the bosses’ partners’s (sic) real estate. Gangs. Big Nasty Business. Evil Developers. Saintly environmentalists. Promoting Jane Parker. Supreme Court nominees. Prison reform. Behind the scenes at the Rennaisance (sic) Faire. Asking random idiots their opinions about random topics and of course, how controversial immigration really is.

If you tackle any of these hot topics, specially (sic) if you look like you’re “chasing” the Weekly, you run the risk of getting a blow below the belt by its self-serving, sophomoric Squid. Swim as fast as you can. —Reporters at the Salinas Bureau of the Monterey County Herald | Salinas

Editor’s note: This missive, printed verbatim, came via e-mail from the desk of Herald reporter Claudia Meléndez. The note, which came under the subject line “Looking forward to ‘chasing’ your stories,” was sent two days before the Herald printed a page-one Sunday piece headlined “Labor Pains: Farmworker shortage leaves growers fearing for crops,” which followed by five weeks the same story in the Weekly.

FACT AS FICTION

After reading Michael Crichton’s latest book State of Fear that addresses the left-wing manipulation and distortion and dis-information concerning global warming as an alleged human-caused phenom, I had to speak out in the hope that I could in some small way as a member of our democratic society inspire an open and objective dialogue on this topic. My environmental credentials are long and deep, going back into the late-1960s. I chaired three environmental entities in my youth and have belonged to various national and international environmental organizations.

I have a dear friend whose name is well-known in certain circles. He holds three masters degrees in three different scientific fields, and has authored two deeply technical scientific blockbuster books that address the corruption of science. Just as Crichton lists numerous scientists in his new book who challenge the global warming hysteria, so it is that my highly educated and brilliant friend claims that the data is as compelling for global cooling as it is for global warming. —Jeffrey Van Middlebrook | Pacific Grove