AVID AVIATOR ABEL… Now that ELECTION DAY 2006 has come and gone, whatever will Squid do with Squid’s spare time? The withdrawal symptoms are already setting in…along with depression. Squid’s trying to look on the bright side—the ACADEMY AWARDS are only a few months away. They’re basically the same thing: A popularity contest where Squid’s faves never win.

But speaking of Oscars, Squid’s got a category of Squid’s own: BEST USE OF PROPS. And the award goes to…State Sen. ABEL MALDONADO.

His seat wasn’t up for grabs on Nov. 7. But that didn’t stop Maldonado from donning his pilot gear and posing with airplanes to get out the vote.

In a glossy ad with pretty pictures of the sun setting behind a plane and Abel sitting inside a cockpit, “Senator & Pilot Abel Maldonado” sent out this “special message” to voters.    

“As an avid aviator and State Senator, I have traveled all over California and my senate district that covers from San Jose to Santa Barbara,” it begins, concluding that ROBERT DEVOE and CARL MILLER are “both excellent choices for the [Monterey Peninsula] AIRPORT DISTRICT.”

Hopefully voters will be able to get past the awkward syntax and appreciate this campaign ad for what it really is: A brilliant use of lighting, staging and props, of the airplane and accessory variety.

BUDGET ADVERTISING… At the water cooler the day after Halloween there was all the usual talk about costumes and kids and cops etc. Then Squid’s boss chimed in with a doozy.

Apparently some enterprising neighbor in Pacific Grove took the time to hand-stuff some decorative individual-sized Halloween bags for the little ghosts and goblins in America’s Last Home Town. Sweet. But there amidst some Double Bubble and tiny candy hamburgers was the four-color glossy business card from THERESA CURATOLO, mortgage consultant with Vista Land and Capital.

Squid was mortified to hear this tale. Good God, Squid wonders—is nothing sacred? So what if Americans just spent $4.5 billion on Halloween costumes and candy and decorations? So what if more people bought a pumpkin than voted in Tuesday’s election? I mean, isn’t Halloween supposed to be free from such crass commercialism?

Squid longs for the spirit of Halloween past, the spirit of witches and zombies and the veiled threat behind the words “trick-or-treat” (“give us same candy or we’ll egg your house”).

Apparently those days are gone. Theresa says call today, ‘cause she’s got great rates on a 30-year fixed right now.