FOWL PLAY… Squid has been stuck to the edge of Squid’s seat– mainly to stave off “office butt”– while following three pigeon poop threads on the P.G. message board www.morriefisher.com.

The site, of course, isn’t sanctioned by former mayor Morrie. Most of the posts are from site administrator Cy Colburn (aka “handy”), David Palmer (aka “stretch,” who administers P.G. blog www.lighthouseavenue.com), and the anonymous “Guest1.” These guys have a penchant for coining cute nicknames for local media and P.G. officials, like “the Weakly,” “Carmel Whine Cone” and “Jim ColonJello.”

With fowl feces plaguing the town, they sprang into cyber-action. Palmer posted photos of uncovered garbage and grease outside P.G. businesses. Guest1 complained to the county Health Department, eliciting a promise from Assistant Environmental Health Director John Ramirez to crack down on open-container offenders. Palmer alerted Mayor Dan Cort, who says the city is hiring a code enforcement officer to handle the doo.

But nastiness crept into the thread when Palmer posted a Photoshopped picture of P.G. Chamber of Commerce President Moe Ammar (who is of Lebanese ancestry) in an Iraqi official’s uniform, to which Guest1 replied, “Nice photo of Mohamad!” Colburn responded with more Photoshop art, this one depicting Ammar’s head on a Lebanese Army soldier’s body.

Palmer says his graphic was a Monty Python-ish reference to “Baghdad Bob,” the Iraqi information minister who spewed propaganda during the first Gulf War– no racial overtones intended.

Squid thinks that load stinks worse than pigeon poop.

NO YOKES… Squid has done Squid’s share of soaping car windows and toilet papering trees of high school teachers. While Squid’s sure it’s no fun to scrape off dried soap the next morning, Squid thinks bouts of vandalism are a natural part of adolescent rebellion. So Squid thinks Aurelio Salazar Jr., president of Salinas LULAC Council #2055, is going a bit overboard with recent news releases on vandals who are egging north Salinas homes.

In an Aug. 4 statement, Salazar took jabs at Councilwoman Jyl Lutes for canceling a meeting with residents, criticized the city for being slow to devise an action plan, and rebuked neighborhood watch leader Malvina Torres for not taking the issue seriously. But maybe Salazar is taking the vandalism too seriously. While neighboring LULAC chapters have tackled racial profiling in Castroville and the beating of a day laborer in Marina, Salazar has been politically silent in recent years. With civil rights issues like police brutality and immigration reform looming, Squid thinks Salazar should reserve a City Hall battle for something besides egg yolk.