GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK… Squid thought the Straight Talk Express ran off the tracks along with Sen. John McCain’s presidential dreams, but it made one last stop – with outgoing AMBAG chief Nick Papadakis. The Association of Monterey Bay Area Government’s executive director retired last month after more than three decades with the agency.

“Allow me to clarify that not all 31 years with AMBAG were filled with fun and gracious and respectful elected officials, colleagues and members of the public,” Papadakis said in a speech at a farewell dinner.

“During my journey in this region, I was sued by leftist and rightist nuts, [by] one of my counties, four of my cities, called an undesirable foreigner and other epithets not suitable for this gathering.”

Please, continue! Squid sits perched at the edge of Squid’s seat.

Of course, Papadakis then went on “to counteract the above,” lauding the work AMBAG and its members did to “preserve open space… ag space… cleaned our air and water; worked collaboratively to promote economic prosperity for the regions,” etc.

“I cannot think of another job that would have allowed me to be a small but active agent of change in a place like this, and for that, I thank you very much.”

So long, Nick, and Squid thanks you for calling leftist and rightist nuts when you see ‘em.

SNOW BLIND… This week, Squid would like to take a break from making fun of Pacific Grove. Really. It’s an earnest little town, with its raging debates over pigeon poop and pet hens. (Cocky doodler Snick Farkas gets bonus points for his public comment: “Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.”)

But Squid cannot help Squidself. Not when P.G., scrambling out of its budget hole at the beginning of an official recession, going boldly solar in preparation for Peak Oil, clings so tightly to its addiction to white powder.

That’s right, $12,000 of snow.

P.G. Chamber of Commerce prez Moe Ammar allowed that this is the last year Stillwell’s Snow in the Park, the annual kid-friendly hoopla featuring Santa and the Snow Queen on Dec. 6, will include fluffy mounds of ice-cold joy. Still, Squid can’t help but reflect: Twelve thousand Gs! That’s enough for a used Prius… or a kilo of blow.

Sure, scrappy Seaside is also keeping up a White Christmas tradition with its annual Holiday in the Park event, starring a tree-lighting ceremony and two piles of manufactured snow for the kids. But that snow costs a modest two to three grand, making it only a fraction as funny.