¡Ask A Mexican! for Dec 17, 2009

It's The Law in California: It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

One man's take on his culture's stereotypes

By Gustavo Arellano

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear Mexican: I’m an Asian female, and for some time now I’ve been fascinated by the Mexican culture. I find Mexican males to be very attractive. Their food, language and music are just amazing! How much of a chance do I have dating a Mexican hombre if I’m Asian? --Muchacha China Curiosa

Dear Chinita: Dios mío, are you in luck! Mexican society loves their Asian women – it’s the job-stealing, vice-promoting men we can’t stand. The beautiful, colorful flowing dress Mexican women wear when dancing baile folklorico is generally called the china poblana, in remembrance of an apocryphal Indian slave from the 17th century. To dress as a china in Mexican parlance of the late 1800s meant to dress like a lower-class mujer for the purposes of becoming alluring, like the gypsy woman or mulatta in American culture. And even in the present day, we romanticize Asian mujeres but without the dragon-lady bad vibes gabachos throw in their hot pot of racial desires. Not only do you have beaucoup chances of dating a Mexican, you’re going to have to beat them back with a bamboo stick. Only drawback? Whether you’re Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, Burmese or from Macao, you will always remain a chinita bonita to your man’s aunts – just ask my ex.

I have a Mexican friend who’s a roofer. He and his crew are very efficient and do excellent work. I pay them the fair-market price for their labor – the same money I’d pay gabacho roofers if they weren’t all on crystal meth, or in relationships with skanky-ass whores. My gabacho contractor friends call me a dumb-ass but, exploiting el cheapo immigrant labor just ain’t my bag. Do you, as a Mexican, think I’m a dumb-ass? --Roofer Who Doesn’t Use Roofies To Nail Rucas

Dear Jefe: Dumb-ass, you? Can you get me a job, and hire my 15 cousins también? The problem of Mexican workers in los Estados Unidos getting paid less than their gabacho counterparts has existed since forever, so for you – to not only pay fair wage to Mexicans, but do it in the realm of construction (a 2005 study published by the National Association of Home Builders found that Mexicans only occupied the lower rungs of the construction industry) – qualifies usted for folk sainthood status in some rancho in Guanajuato.