CARMEL CONFUSION… Squid just can’t understand what’s going on in the formerly sleepy Carmel-by-the-Sea. This week, Dr. Carl Bergstrom was convicted of forcibly sodomizing a woman at his home, after she was found hiding in the bushes outside his house in April. He’s apparently a busy man on the Carmel social scene, where he met some of his alleged victims in bars; investigations into whether or not he also assaulted two other women are ongoing. Squid wants to know if there’s any further fallout from Carmel School Superintendent Marvin Biasotti’s DUI arrest – still a teachable moment, especially in the party days of summer. Meanwhile, the auction table at the Carmel Bach Festival was offering a “sunset tour with Carmel’s mayor, along with a copy of the book Spies, Black Ties & Mango Pies – Stories and Recipes from CIA Families.” Pricetag: $400. No takers when Squid left the (packed) Carmel Bach fete, but never fear… the city could always hold a bake sale to defray unexpected litigation costs from the allegations of inappropriate conduct by City Administrator Rich Guillen toward female city employees. Embattled Carmel Mayor Sue McCloud, of course, continues to maintain a suitably spooky silence on the issue, but maybe the recipe book will provide some clues to what on earth happened.

PARK PLACE… Sensing the proximity of a meter maid, workers in the county’s government center on Alisal Street in Salinas move their cars every two hours to avoid a parking ticket. With plans for a new county parking garage stalled, productivity has gotten so bad that the county requested the city change the two-hour limit to four hours at 123 stalls in an effort to keep employees at their desk more. The Salinas City Council approved the request July 28. Squid doesn’t understand why the workers can’t just park in one of several garages in downtown and walk a few blocks to their job instead of doing the two-hour shuffle. Maybe it’s because that would require exercise and some money for a parking pass. The county wanted a reduced price for the garage parking, but the Oldtown Salinas Association was against giving anyone special treatment. So instead of freeing up the street parking for people coming to the courthouse or visiting the recorder’s office, county employees will continue to hog the coveted spots. And now they can get by with moving their car once a day. Squid doesn’t think lazy workers should be rewarded with longer parking times. That’s like giving Michael Vick a dog kennel license or tasking Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi with a Parliament appointment.