THE ART OF THE DEAL… Squid doesn’t know where to begin with this Pebble Beach art-heist-turned-possible-hoax. As local media ate up the unbelievable plot – $80 million worth of rare art lifted from an unsecured, rented house – Squid wondered where the proof was that collectors Angelo Amadio and Ralph Kennaugh even owned the reported works of Van Gogh, Rembrandt and a never publicly shown Jackson Pollock.

After the collectors accused the Monterey County Sheriff’s Office of botching the investigation and turned the heist into a media circus, Cmdr. Mike Richards fired back at an Oct. 6 press conference, announcing that Amadio and Kennaugh are now suspects and the whole thing may be a ruse. Richards said there was no evidence of a break-in and the victims (er, suspects) haven’t cooperated in providing any documentation to back up their claims. “Nobody can say the paintings existed,” Richards said. “There is something not right with the case.”

You can say that again: a ransom note turns up out of nowhere, the well-heeled duo reports more paintings missing, and they’re telling the press more than investigators. Amadio, the 31-year-old former puppy peddler, told the Herald he knows “nothing about art,” though he has learned some lessons, one of which is: “If it sounds too good, it’s probably criminal.” Squid thinks the same logic may apply in this case.

IN-N-OVER IT… Squid’s been part of a few pop culture cults – hopelessly devoted, in phases, to Jan Brady, Bruce Lee, Frank Zappa and Fabio. But what Seaside Assistant City Manager Jill Anderson called a “cult following” for In-N-Out Burger seems like a lame justification for throwing the city’s proclaimed new direction out the window.

What happened to the talk of a pedestrian-friendly downtown? Mixed-use? Sidewalk eateries (with, dare Squid dream, organic food)? The lot slated for In-N-Out isn’t technically within the blueprint of the Urban Village redevelopment area, but it’s right outside it – and a block from Starbucks and McDonald’s, which borders the Home Depot big box center. The idea is hardly visionary.

Now, Squid has plenty of buddies with In-N-Out fever. Squid knows about the fresh-cut fries, animal style, and is happy to hear the franchise is less exploitative of its workers and the environment than others of its kind. But Seaside already has an unsightly mass of fast-food joints clustered around downtown like some greasy arterial blockage: McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Carl’s Jr., Burger King, KFC, Church’s Chicken, Jack-in-the-Box… City officials must be high on Fort Ord smoke if they think another one can bring the change this city needs.