Disclaimer: This article was a part or April Fools 2010 cover story. For more information read the letter from the publisher

Morgan Christopher, former proprietor, Morgan’s Coffeehouse and Ol’ Factory Café: Ha! I knew you frat boys would get yours one of these days. I no longer have to hang the Weekly editors in effigy. Just because I didn’t pay my bills was no cause for them to write about it all the time.

Andrew Jackson, artist, founder Outer Edge: I was planning to design a cover for the Weekly, but now it’s too late. That sucks.

Bob Antle, Tantimura and Antle produce: Too bad. We’ve been using old Weeklies to help us for weed control in our lettuce fields.

Jane Parker, county supervisor: One of the greatest voices in American journalism has been stilled. I’ve asked for a moment of silence at our meeting this week. Plus I have to find somewhere else to print my agenda items.

Ed Leeper, artist/activist: This world is getting too crazy even for me.

Sue McCloud, former CIA agent and current mayor of Carmel: Our long local nightmare is over.

Leon Panetta, former local congressman and current director of the CIA: I told Sue I would deal with this situation in my own time, and my own way.

Rushad Eggleston, local cellist: And those dudes at the Weekly seemed to really like me a lot.

Jason Burnett, Carmel City Council candidate and board member of the Packard Foundation: I’m going to blow the whistle on whoever is responsible for all this!

Sam Farr, local congressman: Does that mean I won’t get paid for my cover shot of Obama’s inauguration?

Jeff Haferman, Monterey City Councilman: I never forgave them for their endorsement. I told them the way I wanted it to run, but they just didn’t listen.

Diane Harrison, CSUMB president: It’s a bold decision. CSUMB is seriously looking at becoming an online-only university. We, too, would radically reduce staffing and infrastructure costs, which might be the only way we survive this state budget crisis.

Kurt Gaffil, Nepenthe: No way. The Weekly’s always been delivered to us, even when the road to Big Sur is closed.

Moe Ammar, Pacific Grove Chamber executive director: Maybe the new digital Weekly will move their offices into P.G. We’re ground-zero for high-tech innovation for the Peninsula, and some hard-living journalists would certainly spice up this town.

Ben Jealous, NAACP executive director and former P.G. resident: Fortunately, ‘social justice’ is only 13 characters.

Alan Richmond, spokesman, Naval Postgraduate School: “This means we can shut down our ‘black op’ investigation of the Weekly’s progressive proclivities.

Olga Ospina, TV anchor, KION/KCBA: I depend on the Weekly more than you know.