The best thing one can say about The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is that it’s not as painfully slow as the franchise’s last installment, Prince Caspian, in which after 140 long minutes, trees came to the rescue of our heroes. But just because Dawn Treader is 25 minutes shorter doesn’t mean it’s good – it just means it’s more watchable.


With older siblings Peter (William Moseley) and Susan (Anna Popplewell) away, Lucy (Georgie Henley) and Edmund Pevensie (Skander Keynes) are stuck living out World War II with their uncle in Cambridge, England. Also in the house is their cousin Eustace (Will Poulter), an annoying little snot who even child abuse activists will want to smack in the lip. As the three early teens argue in a bedroom they get sucked into a painting on the wall, and before they know it they’re on The Dawn Treader ship in Narnia with hunky but bland Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes).


With Eustace obnoxious every step of the way, they soon learn why they’re there: To help Caspian fulfill an oath to find the seven lost Lords of Telmar, the best friends of his murdered father. Their journey takes them to five islands, each of which brings unexpected peril and adventure, none of which is very exciting. They also discover a green mist that has powers to kidnap people’s bodies and minds, but this intriguing idea is wasted. 


At the risk of being too harsh, much of director Michael Apted’s film feels like aimless wandering on the high seas. Going from one adventure to the next can lead to solid action sequences, such as when the ship encounters a giant sea serpent, but they always feel like disparate pieces of a disjointed whole.


This also needs to be said: A lot of people see Narnia as appealing for children, and yes the values of self-worth and morality are important. But that doesn’t change the fact that every time Lucy and Edmund are in Narnia they’re nearly killed by oddly shaped, Middle-Earth lookin’ freaks. Edmund is frequently lured to the dark side by the White Witch (Tilda Swinton), resists and barely escapes alive. Their savior is a giant talking lion (voiced by Liam Neeson) with a ferocious roar. How does everyone miss the fact that there’s a war going on in the real world, and yet these kids are still much safer in reality? 


In short, Dawn Treader is about as mediocre as they come, with a story, acting and visual effects that are decent but unspectacular. And if you’re considering seeing this in 3-D, for the love of mercy don’t. The 3-D is flat and lifeless and a waste of what otherwise would be a snazzy-looking pair of sunglasses. 


THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER (2) • Directed by Michael Apted • Starring Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Tilda Swinton • Rated PG • 115 min • At Century Cinemas Del Monte, Maya Cinemas.