Richard Nixon and I never had much in common. With the help of one of the most memorable personalities in Pagrovia, that’s changed.

The other night at Alberto’s (373-3993) at the top of Forest Hill, Alberto Bonatelli made a pal and me the same veal scallopini piccata ($26.95) he prepped for president 37. As guilty pleasures go, this might be one of the more pleasurable in puritanical P.G. I now get what a friend who grew up there meant when she told me it’s the best she’s had, Italy included.

Plenty came with the piccata. Like imported Chianti light and vibrant enough to counterbalance rich ravioli carbonara ($14.95) worth writing the Old World about. And a caprese salad with some kind of proscuitto-cheese twist ($8.95). And homemade basil-cello as good as it sounds. And tiramasu ($6), moist and chocolatey enough to appropriately punctuate such a meal.

But that’s only part of what Bonatelli dishes. After he pulled a chair up to our table, turned it backwards and slid into it like a gun into a holster – “This is my home,” he replied to my amazement at how snugly he fit – he proceeded to drop more names than the Yellow Pages.

He and his Orsini Restaurant were the darling of California’ cushiest bit of coastline, Malibu (north of Santa Monica), for the ’80s and then some, and he came away with waves of raves and stories. Late nights with Frank Sinatra. Rubbing aprons with Checkers’ dad Nixon and other heads of state. Neil Diamond’s affection for his veal parmesan. In between glory stories he’d dash away to the tiny nearby kitchen and return with more riches.

Lightly legendary food columnist-New York Italian Ray Napolitano, my Weekly colleague going on about half a decade, is the one that mandated I visit. I asked him what differentiates Bonatelli.

“What you get there is him cooking,” he says. “Really that’s what it boils down to. There’s something about the way he puts food together. It’s not like recipes are out of this world – they’re mostly standard. That’s what it’s about: I’ve always felt like you could give 10 people the same ingredients, equipment and nine of them will taste similar and one won’t. It’s an art. He’s an artist. The first time I walked in there, I ordered linguini putanesca, a simple dish with four powerful ingredients that can screw it up if unbalanced. I was like s***, this is amazing.”

For my part, as I left for a starlight hike through neighboring Del Monte Forest to dent the innertube that had migrated to my midsection over the last couple of hours, I couldn’t resist thinking Alberto’s has a legitimate claim to the best-Italian-in-town crown. Joe Rombi’s (373-2416) deserves a nomination, but is a little fancier and spendier. Peppoli (647-7500) is incredible but even more expensive, even by Pebble Beach standards. Gino’s (422-1814) is an institution that deservedly earns our readers’ best Italian food vote on the regular, but it deploys a different, spaghetti-and-pizza, more family-centered style. Cantinetta Luca (625-6500) does modern-hip Italian with aplomb, but tends more toward Cali-Itali fusion.

Why doesn’t he get more traffic, then? Maybe because it’s tucked into a off-track strip mall. Maybe because he relies on word of mouth. Maybe his forward personality is too much for some. I won’t linger too long on those queries – besides, the restaurant community certainly is aware of him, as are locals in the know – because I’m happy to keep it our little understanding. I know Tricky Dick knows how to keep a secret.

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Raised Bed entrepreneur and organic gardening oracle Helaine Tregenza reports from the International School in Seaside – where she led students through a little lecture and demo – that there is hope. “I was thrilled to see how many kids have vegetable gardens and compost at home,” she says, “and actually knew what chard and kale are.”

More hope: The Aquarium’s Seafood Watch iPhone app has a new feature, Project FishMap, which lets people tag restaurants and markets across the U.S. when they find ocean-friendly seafood.

Let’s keep the positivity flowing: Whole Foods in Monterey (333-1600)is selling its in-house label goods (green beans, mac and cheese and mandarins, among them) at cost for locals willing to donate them to the Food Bank for Monterey County. And the Shake Family 12th Annual Memorial Fundraiser for the Salvation Army is back. Drop donations by Old Fisherman’s Grotto (375-4604), Isabella’s (375-3956) or the Fish Hopper (372-8543), and stick around for their dynamite locals specials – they are honoring locals night every night in December.

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Hula’s Island Grill (655-HULA) has bottomless champagne on New Year’s Eve for $12… Speaking of, Esteban (375-0176) has A Tribute to Bubbles six-course wine pairing coming Wednesday, Dec. 29 – drunken oysters, bay scallops, squab, Naveran Cava Brut Reserva, Cleeburg Cremant, etc., $75++… Jack London’s in Carmel (624-2336) has a different idea going: Bring in gifts and have ’em wrapped while you eat and drink… “I’m not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats,” Sinatra said. “I’m not looking for the secret to life… I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.”