¡Ask a Mexican!

It's the Law in Eureka, CA: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

¡Ask a Mexican!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dear Mexican: I’ve been attracted to transgendered women since I was about 13. I’ve noticed, however, that most trannies are Hispanic. Now, before you say that this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask a Hispanic!, I’ve also noticed that more than half of all Hispanic transsexuals are Mexican. What’s up with that? Is it a cultural thing? Is it something in your genes? I mean, what is it? -Self-Hating Hispanic Like any good male, I was surfing porn on the Internet last week when I happened on an escort website. The site had several categories, depending on your sexual proclivities, I suppose. While clicking through them, I got to the she-male escort section and noticed a curious thing: The percentage of transgendered escorts that were Latinos (by their admission) was 57 percent whereas Latinos only comprise 37 percent of the population in general. Given the legendary Latino male machismo how do you account for these statistics? -Gabacho of the Straight Persuasion

Dear Wab and Gabacho: To the gabacho, I’m all for folks enjoying their different strokes, but you: straight? When you’re looking through the transgendered section of a prostitute website? And were able to calculate to the exact percentile the number of Latino escorts on said site (don’t know which orifice you pulled out the 37 percent stat for Mexis, though, as the Pew Hispanic Center’s 2008 survey of Latino demography in los Estados Unidos puts the population of wabs and their descendants in the States at about 31 million, about 10 percent of the total American population). Cabrón: you ain’t straight, and that’s all right. To the wab: I don’t know where you get your numbers, either. No reliable statistics exist on the number of Mexican transgendered people in the motherland or el Norte, but what’s known about this population is that they’re inordinately represented in HIV cases, as sexual-assault victims, and face rampant harassment. To the gabacho: Instead of ogling them, maybe you should spend your perverted dollars on donating to non-profits that help LGBT Mexis – and maybe they’ll be kind enough to help you with your own sexual hang-ups. To the wab: you should donate, too. And to the both of ustedes and everyone else: this is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not Ask a Hispanic, Latino, Chili Belly or whatever other chingadera people confuse Mexicans as – ask accordingly!