HIGH BIDDERS… Squid had never seriously considered the political ramifications of a late-night fast food run. A chalupa and a Whopper might differ in form, but in the end, they’re both factory-farmed beef served up in a processed carbohydrate wrapper. Completely apolitical, right?

Well, the money behind it is certainly political, given the Whopper donations made by Pebble Beach residents Brian and Kelly Swette to failed Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. Brian, who lists his occupation as Burger King chairman, and wife Kelly, a homemaker, have donated $65,900 to Whitman’s campaign since June 2009.

Looks like cow plop in a feedlot isn’t the only thing that runs downhill: Brian worked for Whitman as a senior VP of marketing and chief operating officer at eBay. According to Swette’s 1998 offer letter from Whitman, his eBay salary was to start at $150,000 a year and included 200,000 shares of pre-IPO stock – likely to grow to 600,000 shares in a three-for-one split after the company went public.

The offer letter also made it clear that Swette had to prove he was legally permitted to work in the U.S. Squid guesses that’s a hurdle he cleared, unlike others in Whitman’s employ.

NO TREATS… Pacific Meadows retirement complex in Carmel, a low-income complex run by American Baptist Homes of the West, was once a homey place during holidays. According to Squid’s insider, doors would be hung with grandkid art and cardboard creatures.

This Hallow’s Eve, seniors came out of their apartments to find their cheer had been removed: Management decreed that in consideration of the recent renovation, door decor is now a no-no. “Holidays are no reason to chip the paint,” the tipster quips. “May I have another bowl of gruel, sir?”

TRUCK STOP… Squid is a fan of obnoxious election signs, and this election season would be hard to beat the ubiquitous Felix Bachofner signs all over Seaside. The challenger nudged out incumbent Ralph Rubio by a hair – and Squid is going to chalk up those 2.8 victory points to The Felix Truck, a white van plastered with images of his ample head. The Herald may have endorsed Rubio, but helped fuel Bachofner’s win. The mayor elect tells Squid The Felix Truck is an old Herald delivery van he bought about a year ago to cart construction materials for his Seaside properties.

And what a deal: He says he scored it for a little more than a G, with less than 100,000 miles on the truck and some 20,000 miles on its new engine. The kicker: He found it on Craigslist. Therein lies further testimony to the health of the Herald, its classifieds and its dwindling circulation.