A LUMP OF COAL… Squid’s making a list, Squid’s checking it twice. That’s right, Squid-a-Claus is coming to town. Squid’s got a bundle of gift certificates: for Marina Mayor Bruce Delgado, endless double-doubles from In N Out (destined to ignore Marina as a potential new locale); a group-retreat weekend at Esalen for the Salinas City Council (so they can hug out their differences surrounding the hiring of new City Manager Ray Corpuz over acting City Manager Jim Pia). There’s a Budgeting for Dummies book for the Marina Coast Water District Board (with the hopes they’ll spend less on lawyers and the endless hunt for a PR firm that will make them look 20-percent less dumb), with a second copy for the Board of Supervisors, who spent $250,000 on an outside investigation that absolved themselves of screwing up the Regional Water Project. Squid’s also procured a medical marijuana prescription for Monterey City Manager Fred Meurer, thinking he needs an opportunity to settle down about the looming menaces of live music and pot dispensaries. Squanta even sprung for a bicycle so Lou Calcagno can ride on the Blanco bike lane, and a home-garden methyl iodide fumigation for Simon Salinas. For outgoing Carmel Mayor (and former CIA agent) Sue McCloud, a chaise and flat-screen TV for watching spy flicks and livestreaming council meetings, and for Supervisor Dave Potter, a horse-and-buggy ride through oak woodlands on the proposed Eastside Parkway route. 


And for P.G., the town that rejects pot dispensaries, chain restaurants and even BevMo!, how about a sex-toy shop? That last one isn’t a joke. It’s possible that Carmelita Garcia, mayor of America’s Last Hometown, was looking elsewhere – say, Sacramento – when this one went through the business licensing department. Adult novelty shop Ooh-La-La is scheduled to open before year’s end across the street from il Vecchio.


Just looking at that gift list makes Squid ready for some nog. 


STROKE OF MIDNIGHT… Speaking of Carmel politics, Squid knows exactly where Squid will be at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s: Stirring melted butter into a bowl of popcorn and waiting for the real spectacles of 2012 to begin. Carmel man-child-about-town Adam Moniz announced on Dec. 10 that he would announce on Jan. 1 whether he, Rich Pepe and Jason Burnett were going for a three-way in November. Three-way race, that is: Moniz says in response to Pepe’s pronouncement that he planned to run for mayor, Moniz would announce his intentions on Jan. 1 via a video “featuring many prominent Carmelites.” That’s a lot of announcing for a job that only pays $200 a month.