FUNNY GALS… Popular Carmel City Council member Jason Burnett announced his candidacy for mayor last week. Squid noticed he missed out a perfect primer for his run a few days earlier, when Paula Poundstone spent most of her Sunset Center standup pondering the unique character of Carmel.


First the demographic. “You guys are the 1 percent. I’m in the 99,” she said. “If I had told the occupiers I was coming here, they would’ve kicked me out of that tent so fast.” 


Then political leanings. “You were at the bank, so you probably didn’t hear this, but Newt was hit with new allegations that he’s… Newt Gingrich, and it looks like they’ll stick,” Poundstone said. 


But her take on the town culture generated the most laughs: She asked if “quaint” was mandated on city documents. She talked art. “I had some time before the show,” she said. “I went shopping for my kids, who are 20, 17 and 13. I had to call to fish for ideas. ‘If you were to have an oil painting, what kind of oil painting would you want?’” 


Talk turned to local City Council meetings, which included a Poundstoning of Councilwoman Karen Sharp (who was in the audience), and discussion of the kind of Carmelite drama that deserves a #RichPeopleProblems hashtag. “Is that a big issue around here? Stealing other people’s views with new houses?” Poundstone asked. “Are you scared to leave your homes?” 


She returned to questioning the near-termed-out Sharp. “Karen? Hope you haven’t become unresponsive like this at council,” she said. “You sound like you’re ready to quit.” 


“The last few years have been wonderful,” a wearied Sharp replied.


“Karen,” Poundstone said, “no one’s buying that.”


NEWSESQUE… Squid’s Christmas cheer was sapped on hearing Wendy Brickman and Barbara Howard, real estate mogul Nader Agha’s P.R. team, were displeased they hadn’t been invited to revise, err, Squid means preview, the Weekly’s recent profile on the ever-burgeoning businessman. But Agha was so taken with the portrait, he’s getting into the news business himself. In January, he’s planning to launch a weekly that’ll cover the same turf as Squid’s paper, led by editor-to-be John Chin.


In keeping with his penchant for gift-giving at Christmas (and heck, all times of year), Agha’s giving away free ads for the first three or so months, and the rate will only ratchet up to full price after a year. “That’s the way to promote something,” Agha says. Maybe that’s one way. Squid kindly recommends Agha stick with his book proposal, The Art of Making Money and Having Fun.