Squid Fry 02-17-11
Bernie Madoff: They had to know.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
COMEDY OF ERRORS… It’s tax season, and Squid’s in a foul mood because Squid’s accountant doesn’t agree that whiskey is a business expense. It is. If it weren’t for whiskey, this column wouldn’t be written on a regular basis. Regardless, Squid’s considering downgrading to, say, glue. But first, Squid’s checking in with the Monterey County’s assistant auditor to see how it’s working out for him.
It seems the county’s system sends out the W-2s as individual print jobs, and the printer that accepts those jobs requires a button press for approving each of those jobs – some 5,500 or more of them. The solution: hiring someone from the printer manufacturer to write a code that would simulate a button press every few seconds so the county wouldn’t have to pay someone to push that button 5,500 plus times. “This made printing the W-2s take quite a few hours,” says Squid’s tipster. “I wonder if it would have been [faster] to pay someone to push the damn button.”
But that wasn’t the only issue with the W-2s, which brings Squid back to (huffing) glue. Apparently the glue that seals the W-2s didn’t work out, either. So the assistant auditor and his wife and a cast of others had to manually take each W-2 and press the glue out to make sure they were sealed.
After the W-2s were finally printed, glued and handed out to county employees – but not proofread – someone noticed an error: an incorrect California Employer State ID number. On Jan. 31, the county notified employees: “This letter is to inform you that you will be receiving in the mail a new W-2 form… ” it begins. It doesn’t mention the glue.
BIRTHER BRETHREN… Squid’s smart enough to stay out of photographic range, especially in this era of Facebook-as-permanence. So it should be no surprise that a photo surfaced in The Herald last week, showing Monterey County Republican Central Committee Vice Chairman Tom Dominy posing with former California Secretary of State candidate Orly Taitz, a leader in the birther movement.
Unearthing old photos of crowded cocktail parties is a low blow indeed, and Squid can’t help but feel like the GOP’s had some rough breaks in dealing with its past lately, after the Weekly uncovered financial reporting shenanigans dating back as far as 2005. Squid abhors sunlight, but a Salinas P.I. sagely put it, “Sunlight’s the best antiseptic for thievery and lying.”
One GOPer spouted wrath at the old photo, “I wouldn’t wrap a fish in The Herald out of respect for the fish.” Squid’s advice: take responsibility for the past instead of pretending it didn’t happen, and get over the unfounded doubts about Obama’s origins already. That’s so 2008.