COCK BLOCK… Squid normally sleeps the sleep of the just. Yet Squid often finds a good snooze elusive when visiting cephalopod relatives in North County.

That’s because the NoCo has a rooster problem, and a controversial draft ordinance ordered up by Supervisor Lou Calcagno would reduce the cap on the squawking birds from 499 to 4 to eliminate the noise nuisance plaguing his district. But county planner/ordinance author Taven Kinison Brown is facing a tough task balancing the needs of pig-tailed 4Hers raising the birds for project credit, and neighbors who say criminals engaged in cockfighting are ruining their lives.

That’s because the county’s willing to consider cocks only to a point: Kinison Brown “really hit a filter wall” when Google searches for cockfighting landed him in the ether of Internet prohibitions. Kinison Brown was literally blocked from using the c-word by the county’s own filters. Squid’s not quite sure what the filter-worthy interpretation of cockfighting would look like, but doesn’t want to know.

RICH MAN’S WORLD… Squid’s tired of being poor.Money can buy a lot of things, happiness included, and Squid wants in on the action. That’s why Squid’s sending a love note to Steve Collins, a Monterey County Water Resources Agency director (and, if he plays his cards right, Squid’s future sugar daddy).

Collins raised eyebrows in February when he recused himself from voting on the $28 million contract with RMC, an environmental engineering company hired to consult on the Regional Water Project, which could indicate that he has a financial conflict of interest – and a financial involvement in either the RCM contract or the Regional Water Project.

But it looks like Squid isn’t the only one eying Collins (or, at least, his finances).

“We are concerned that the conflict cited by Director Collins may in fact extend to any and all matters having to do with the Regional Water Supply Project, with a potential to jeopardize the project implementation,” reads a letter to MCWRA from Salinas Valley Water Coalition Chair Keith Roberts, adding that SVWC supports the project and calls on Collins to identify his conflict of interest. “Water projects are difficult enough to move through the public process, but without the public’s trust, it is impossible.”

Collins’ most recent form statement of economic interest (which should disclose any financial interest in the Regional Water Project) is due to the county next month. But it will be too late for all you other gold diggers. Squid and Collins will be holed in a very exclusive, expensive Fijian resort by then.