Dear Mexican: I can’t help thinking of Mexico as a Tea Party paradise. Mexican taxes are very low. There are few regulations, and environmentalists, socialists, and liberals are few and far between. There is no Obamacare, and Mexico is the home of Carlos Slim, the world’s richest man, a tribute to Mexican crony capitalism. Apparently, carrying guns and using them is no problem, regardless of the laws, and there is that priceless opportunity of shooting a “bad” guy. - Pan Blanco de Rio Rancho


Why are right-wing Republicans trying to turn America into Mexico when they press for laws that make the rich richer, remove regulations and turn out the poor onto the streets to fend for themselves and die? They are jealous of the wealthy Mexican oligarchs that run that country with no concern for the poor.They would love it if they could torture anyone who disagreed with them asked to spendtheir taxes on lazy unemployed folks or any other “socialism.” - Koch Blocker


Dear Gabachos: Dual Tea Party-esque interpretations of Mexico – LOVE IT. Both legit, by the way. Pan: Damn straight Mexico is a libertarian paradise, and that portions of the country are government-free, ruled by those who have bullets and money. Koch: damn straight the GOP establishment wants to turn the U.S. into Mexico at its worst, a Darwinian wasteland where money rules. 


I came to the United States 20 years ago, and the first thing besides getting a job and working very hard was enrolling in GED classes. One thing that makes me mad is some people in the same situation as mine don’t want to learn English and get better opportunities. Are they huevones or what? - Baja’s Chick


Dear Chica: Immigrants throughout this nation’s history have learned English, but not all of them, and always to their detriment. A 2007 Pew Hispanic Center report found 71 percent of Mexican immigrants surveyed reported they spoke little to no English. Sounds like a bola of dummies, but they ain’t – a 2006 Pew study found 96 percent of Latino immigrants felt it was important to teach English to their children, a ratio even higher than what gabachos felt. Meanwhile, a disturbing 27 percent of non-Latinos think Mexi kids don’t have to learn the language, the better to keep raza down.