THE RACE CARD… Squid’s well aware of the climate differential between sunny Seaside and chilly Carmel-by-the-Sea. So when Squid heard about the upcoming presentation, “What Does Carmel Have That Seaside Doesn’t?” Squid was sure of the answer: fog. Turns out, though, “this bewitching tale of two cities” is about more than meteorology. The Carmel Residents Association is hosting a talk on the subject by local architect Brian Congleton, who designed the layout for Carmel’s first Concours d’Elegance five years ago. He described Carmel’s painfully quaint Ocean Avenue as “a magical place,” complete with… blue skies. It would be nice if notoriously insular CRA were colorblind in other areas, too. The gist of the talk covers where Carmel went right and Seaside went wrong, which sounds a little to Squid like an underhanded commentary on demographics. (Carmel-by-the-Sea: 93 percent white. Seaside: 43 percent Hispanic.) Where Carmel’s heavy on charm – err, magic – it’s a little light on reality. 


FLY AWAY… Squid’s happy because Squid feels heard, after years of griping and moaning every time Squid flies out of the Monterey Peninsula Regional Airport. No hard feelings: Squid prefers flying MRY over SJC or SFO. But waking up at 4:30am to catch the 6:10am has brought Squid face to face with The Man. No, that’s not TSA – it’s the nearly $10-an-hour fee levied on Squid for checking email while tentacle-tapping through the boredom of delays. Squid keeps a running list of airports offering free wi-fi, and has made a habit of reciting said list to every can corral into captive audience, including Airport Board Vice-Chair Mary Ann Leffel. Christmas came early this year for Squid, whose dream of posting crack-of-dawn Facebook messages for free can now come true. Squid’s sincere thanks for listening, MRY. Maybe now Squid should start muttering about the coffee, which tastes like it was brewed in a gulag. How about a little Cherry Bean, Acme or Carmel Valley Roasting Company for those pre-dawn flights?


SAFE HARBOR… Squid wants to know why, on earth or sea, does Dr. Graham Spanier still have a position on the advisory board of the Naval Postgraduate School? After Spanier walked the plank as Penn State University’s president amid the child sex abuse cover-up scandal, you’d think the Navy would cut this guy loose. It turns out, NPS has no say in the matter. NPS Chief of Staff Colonel Zoe Hale tells Squid’s colleague, “The appointments are made by the Secretary of Defense. It’s like wearing a uniform. [We] have no say in the uniform structure. The appointments are done to us, not by us.” So the ball, it turns out, now rests squarely in Leon’s court.