Squid Fry 6.14.12
Thursday, June 14, 2012
TALLY HO… Squid knows Squid could exert undue influence at the polls, using all eight tentacles to sneakily fill in ballots. But Squid prefers to sneak away quietly – a practice losing candidates would do well to adopt.
Voters in the District 1 supe’s race gave long-standing incumbent Fernando Armenta a hearty 44.3 percent. Coming in second, though Armenta outspent him 18 to 1, was affable Salinas City Councilman Tony Barrera (29.3 percent). Left out of the November runoff: Armenta’s arch-rival, Councilman Sergio Sanchez, who doesn’t seem to know how to go away gracefully. Sanchez fought a good fought, but it’s time to concede. Granted, he started out Election Night rather downtrodden after KSBW flashed a big fat zero across the TV screen. (Oops.) That’s gotten members of his campaign requesting an Elections Department audit. But Linda Tulett, registrar of voters, says no dice. “He is complaining there was a computer malfunction on Election Night. The truth is, KSBW had the wrong results posted. That’s not my flag to fly.”
Squid thought Sanchez might stand a chance to close the 123-vote margin separating him from Barrera. But Tulett says that’s unlikely. “Every candidate who’s in that position has every right to hold out hope,” she says. “But in my 16 years of experience, I would not look at that contest as being that close.”
Sergio – the Salinas City Council still needs you.
MR. POPULAR… Squid’s joke du jour: Why did the hipster burn his hand? ’Cause he tried to screw in a light bulb before it was cool. Squid’s polishing a new version for, say, 20 years from now: Why is Squid cooler than cool? Because Squid had Jason Burnett’s cell phone number before he was U.S. president.
OK, Squid’s not all that special; Burnett’s number is on his business cards and email signature. (He probably has secret line for real friends.) But Burnett’s willingness to take personal calls from cranky Carmelites was apparently enough for San Francisco Chronicle writer Meredith May to develop a serious crush on the Carmel mayor: Her June 10 love letter (er, profile) was practically the newspaper equivalent of the Obama Girl video.
The Chron story embraces the Squid tradition of making fun of Carmel’s First World Problems – wah, the Bach Fest-goers took my parking space, the work crew cut a tree root – but Squid makes no mistake about Burnett’s bigger ambitions. His call for Obama campaign donations, sent from his personal email address as part of an invitation to U.S. Vice President Joe Biden’s June 20 appearance at the Sunset Center, is more than a hint: This guy’s glad-handing his way to the White House.