BAG-ASSWARD… The Carmel Planning Commission’s hearing on a proposed plastic bag ban got scrappy May 9, when environmentalists supporting the ban were evenly matched by business owners opposing it. Some of the naysayers had the misperception – perpetuated by an inaccurate KSBW segment on the hearing – that the ban would outlaw paper bags as well.


KSBW’s online summary: “Carmel leaders bagged a plan to ban all bags, paper and plastic, from retail stores.” Wrong (the Planning Commission recommended ditching the ban, but the City Council makes the final call) and wrong (only plastic bags would be banned; paper with at least 40 percent recycled content would incur a 10-to-25-cent fee).


To reporter Jacqueline Mazur’s credit, anchor Dan Green and KSBW’s web folks bungled the story even more than she did. But when Squid emailed to ask WTF, Mazur wouldn’t acknowledge the goofs.


Hey, even Squid makes the occasional mistake, and Squid knows it can be embarrassing. But at least Squid runs corrections when necessary. And if KSBW’s going to put a bag over its head, paper’s a safer choice than plastic.


BETWEEN THE SHEETS… Even eight-tentacled Squid knows how to keep Squid’s suction cups off other people’s stuff, but apparently those basic rules never penetrated the mind of James Hegi. According to the made-for-TV lawsuit against him, Hegi stole thousands of messages off his ex’s phone while she was sleeping in his Seaside home, where she spends the weekends with their 4-year-old. What might’ve been a personal gripe escalated to a complaint for stolen trade secrets and interference with prospective economic advantage – the moral being, don’t have a jealous freak-out toward an attorney. 


Besides being a Monterey spa and salon owner, Hegi’s ex, Yunji Willa Qian, is a San Francisco lawyer who helps seal international business deals. 


When Hegi found out Qian had a boyfriend (by prowling her private messages, according to the complaint), he allegedly started contacting everyone, from old friends to prospective clients, using slut-shaming tactics straight from the Rush Limbaugh school of gender relations.


Judge Kay Kingsley issued a handwritten order giving Hegi 24 hours to hand-deliver all of his records in the Marriott lobby; no word on whether he met the May 10 deadline. Qian just struck out on her own in February, founding Qian & Nemecek with partner David Nemecek. Squid’s ambivalence about outsourcing (and lawyers in general) aside, Squid can’t help but root for Q&N, which has calculated damages of at least $300,000. Hegi’s got until June 1 to defend himself in court.